Category: Mind

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We Only Judge Other for What We Judge Ourselves

We only judge others for what we judge ourselves.

I was first told these words in college. A professor quoted it like it was common knowledge, and yet it hit me like a ton of bricks. I tossed that quote around in my brain to see if it was actually applicable.

At that particular moment in my life, there were two people getting under my skin. One was in a different class of mine and the other attended my church. Just being in their presence would make my skin crawl. They were like nails on a chalkboard.

I paused and thought of these two people, one male and one female. They actually had a lot in common. They had similar physical builds and their personalities were not too different. What did this tell me about myself?

First of all, they were both loud, boisterous and sought attention.

Ouch. Way to look at myself in the mirror. I had spent many years being told I was too much, too loud, too passionate, too excited, too blunt. Too too too too too all the things. I was regularly being told I should “tone it down” in some area of my life or another. And here were these two people, loud and proud for the whole world to see.

Secondly, they were both overweight. This sentence right here is the sole reason I have yet to write this blog post. I feared people judging me for judging them. I feared potential back lash from my honesty. But when I try to rewrite this and find some other way to describe the second trait, it just sounds like words stumbling all over each other.

The reality of the situation was that I had been deeply insecure about my weight since elementary school. I was the largest kid in my class from third through sixth grade. I had insults thrown at me in middle school centered around my weight. And lucky for me, puberty took care of a lot of the weight loss. But it still left me a size 10/12 through high school when all my friends toggled between 0 and 00.

I felt so insecure about my body that I literally told myself the most ridiculous stories in my head about why everything I wanted that I couldn’t have was because of my weight. I blamed the lack of a boyfriend, a D on a biology test, certain people not liking me and so much more on my physical appearance. In retrospect, obviously none if it had absolutely anything to do with the size jeans I owned, but my adolescent brain wasn’t mature enough to see that truth.

So sitting there at 20 years old, judging this girl who sat across the room from me in my communications class, I realized my frustration had nothing to do with her, and everything to do with me. She was mirroring back at me my deepest insecurities.

It was a heavy dose of humble pie.

To this day I am so grateful for those lessons. I wish I could say I have never judged another human since, but we both know that would be straight up lying. At least now I run it through a filter of compassion. I ask myself “what does it say about me that I would look down on him/her?”

In reality, this is probably why in my writing, you will find a trend of the word grace appearing over and over and over again. The more grace we give ourselves, the more compassion we can share with others. The more we acknowledge our own insecurities and find a way to love ourselves through them, or even because of them, the easier it becomes to love others’ imperfections.

After all, we only judge others for what we judge ourselves.

Grace and peace my friends,

Sophia Hyde


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Thanks for making it to the end of this blog post! Two options to keep going if you want more:

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How to be More Present

I vividly remember being 8 years old, wading in the small pool of our front yard while my mother sat in a chair. While in the water, my mind drifted to the future. I imagined a day when I was a grown up, a mother myself, and it was Christmas morning. Fear and doubt crept in as I contemplated whether Santa was real.

On one hand, what if Santa is not real and I believed he was. I would neglect to buy presents for my children and they would have nothing on Christmas morning.

On the other hand, what if I bought all the presents and then he turned out to be real and he showed up with everything on top of mine.

I could no longer deal with the uncertainty, and I demanded my mom tell me the truth. Her answer had always been, “it’s whatever you believe in your heart to be true.” But this day was different. The stress of what I would do as a grown up was too much, and I needed to know my plan. I remember insisting that she tell me. Engrained in my long term memory is my mother with very sad eyes shaking her head no and saying we would talk about it later because there were too many younger kids around.

Although I could tell she was disappointed a season of my childhood was gone, I felt reassured and confident. Now I would know what to do….a piece of information that would not come in handy for TWENTY MORE YEARS.

I tell you this story because it’s indicative of my entire life. I cannot help that when left to daydream, my mind naturally wonders to hypothetical scenarios of the future. Constantly. I rarely dwell on the past. I learn from it and move on, but my mind struggles greatly with staying focused on the present moment.

What we have learned is that almost everyone struggles with staying present in the moment. Very few people are able to spend the vast majority of their attention on just the current day’s concerns.

Over the years I have worked diligently to form habits and practices that help me stay present. My daydreaming often robs me of my focus. At this point, I have come to accept that this is how I am wired, and I no longer expect it to ever change. However, if I want to fulfill those dreams my mind creates, it’s imperative I develop skills that help me redirect my attention back to the tasks at hand.

Maybe you can empathize with me and you too are often drifting off into the far future with either hopes or fears. Or maybe you are like millions of others who find their mind wandering to the past. Replaying scenarios that have already occurred and filling your mind with regrets or doubts.

Either way, we can all benefit from learning to be more present in the moment at hand.

We cannot change the past, but we can change the stories we attach to the events that happened.

No matter how bad a past experience may have been, can you find gratitude in it? Even if the only gratitude is for the lessons it taught you, how much stronger it made you, or the empathy it gave you for others?

Regarding the future, since we don’t know what will happen anyway, you can CHOOSE to attach different stories. You can attach stories that involve fear, worry, worse-case-scenarios and failure. Or, you can CHOOSE to have power over your mind and choose to assume the best.

The link below will take you to a PDF I developed for our free 5 day mental fitness group that ran last week. It includes an exercise to help you self-reflect on how much time you are spending in the present moment, and it will give you some ideas to help you develop more habits to keep you centered.

​Click here to download the exercise and guide​

​​Grace and Peace,
Sophia Hyde

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Thanks for making it to the end of my blog post!

If you enjoy this content make sure you’re following me on Facebook and Instagram (@thesophiahyde) for more content and tips on how to create peace in your life.

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Is Meditation Hard for You?

Ten years ago I sat on my back porch with a pillow under my tailbone, my legs crossed, my fingers touched together and tried to quiet my mind. Not even two minutes later I realized I had wandered off to random thoughts and was just sitting in a ridiculous position while I thought about my to-do list and replayed conversations.

I drove to Barnes and Noble (when that was a still a thing we did) and bought the book Meditation for Dummies. Yes. That one.

I brought it home, skimmed the pages, and decided it was overwhelming, intimidating and unhelpful.

But if you know me, then you know that once I’ve made up my mind about something, I am relentless.

Fast forward a couple years, I was able to sit in pretty much any position, get into a meditative state quickly, quiet my thoughts and have powerful reflections.

So how did I go from completely clueless and frustrated to teaching meditation classes to others?

The exact same way a couch potato runs a marathon. I practiced regularly, started with small time frames and slowly increased, sought out mentors and classes and had a ton of grace with myself.

When I say the word “meditation” some people love it, and many others are completely intimidated by it.

Let me explain what meditation is NOT:

  • Meditation is NOT a religious experience
  • Meditation is NOT woo woo
  • Meditation does NOT have to be you sitting crisscross apple sauce

Now, allow me to explain what meditation IS:

  • Meditation is a muscle that must be exercised. It is never easy at first
  • Meditation is simple. No need to overcomplicate it
  • Meditation can fit anywhere in your life

I created a simple guide for you to learn about meditation and how to incorporate it into your life.

There is no better way to calm yourself, gain your clarity or learn about your true self than through meditation. It’s pretty much the most powerful drug on the planet. Get yourself some.

I created a guide that includes 8 different types of meditation including walking meditation, artistic meditation and breath meditation. There is no one right way to meditate. I highly recommend searching for the version that works for you.

Download here

​*Note* A similar version of this content was sent out as the Day Two lesson in my free ‘Mental Fitness 5 Day Challenge Group” going on this week. I repurposed it for the blog this week because many of you asked for it in the poll on Instagram.

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Thanks for making it to the end of my blog post!

If you enjoy this content make sure you’re following me on Facebook and Instagram (@thesophiahyde) for more content and tips on how to create peace in your life.

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Why I Said Bye to Hustle Culture


There was a season of my life I participated in hustle culture, mostly from my teen years through early twenties. I believed that burning the candle at both ends and running myself ragged would help me get to the top faster.

I specifically remember one speaker in college who greatly inspired me. He was a highly successful businessman who was the guest speaker at an event my last semester. There were two quotes he shared that day that I wrote down and internalized,

“You can sleep when you’re dead.”

And

“Do not put off for tomorrow what can be done today.”

My type-A personality loved the reinforcement to continue to pursue my workaholic behaviors.

Fast forward two years from that event and my body was crashing, my marriage wasn’t very healthy, I was regularly sick, I lived with constant brain fog and I was exhausted all the time, to the point of falling asleep in my desk at work. This was not working for me.

I later learned that sure, this man had accumulated a lot of wealth and had built one of the largest advertising agencies in the world, but his family suffered. His marriage ended in divorce and come to find out, he didn’t have a strong relationship with his kids until they were adults.

After my body crashed and I took my sabbatical, I started reframing the way I did everything.

The first thing I did was grab a couple mentors. I looked specifically for people who were in their sixties and had created a life that looked like what I wanted mine to resemble at that age: strong family, successful career, financial independence and a peaceful confidence.

It was fascinating to me what these two very different people had in common. Although they had never met, their habits highly resembled one another:

• Strong spiritual life
• Daily meditation practice
• Full night’s rest every night
• Prioritized healthy eating
• Always stayed hydrated
• Had strong boundaries around their time
• Valued philanthropy
• Read books constantly
• Insatiable hunger to learn

I started realizing that I had none of these habits, and I had to release my beliefs around hustle culture. I was “too busy” to slow down and make time for these habits.

Instead of believing I could sleep when I was dead, I spent months getting 9 hours of sleep a night until my body caught up. Now 7.5 is when my body naturally wakes up.

Instead of believing nothing could wait until tomorrow, I now believe that almost everything can wait, and I pick the most important priorities each day. I am deliberate at prioritizing each area of my life and giving it space on my calendar. What’s not on the calendar waits until its designated time. I have fully accepted that my to-do list will never, ever, ever get to zero.

I calendar time with my husband to binge-watch television. I set aside time with my kids to sit in the house with no plans and chill on the couch or chase them around in circles (quite literally, one of their favorite games is playing ‘catch me’ while we run around the kitchen island).

Less truly is more.

As we enter into the peak of the holiday season, I hope you are able to detach from any hanging to-do lists. I hope you give yourself permission to rest. I hope you freely allow things to wait until January to be done. I hope you enjoy the present moment, enjoy your families, and create space and time for restoration, whatever activities that word involves for you.

Grace and Peace my friends,

Sophia

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Thanks for making it to the end of this blog post! Two options to keep going if you want more:

Looking to create more peace in your life? Then I highly recommend downloading the free E-book from my site, Create Peace. Just drop your email below and it will be sent to you.

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How I Avoid Disappointment

We all know what it feels like to have the wind sucked out of us when disappointment takes over. It’s an awful feeling. I used to experience it much more often, until I learned a valuable lesson:

Setting expectations only leads to unnecessary disappointment.

In 2009, tears streamed down my cheeks the whole way home on a flight from Los Angeles to Tampa. While there, I had been offered the ideally perfect job for me, with the minimum salary we needed to survive, and I felt like everything I had worked 5 years toward creating was coming true. We filled out the paperwork for an apartment in Glendale and starting planning our new lives.

Then, I got the strangest phone call the night before I left. It all came crashing down. I would have to leave L.A. with no prospects, my tail between my legs and the reality that we would probably be staying exactly where we were…in the 470 sq ft studio in the same zip code where I grew up.

I was devastated. We both were.

My husband finished his L.A. internship and came back to our tiny studio. We didn’t know what else to do since it was the peak of the recession, so we started our own business. Fresh out of college. That business ended up providing an income that supported both of us and opened up doors to relationships that have changed the course of our lives.

We still ended up making all the things we wanted happen…just here. In my hometown. Not 2500 miles away. Now we both have careers we love, two kids, a home, and my family lives in the same neighborhood as us.

When I think back to how disappointed I was when the opportunity I thought I wanted didn’t work out, I realize that it was a gift.

Plan B became Plan A, and I am better off for it. How can we even see what gifts may be resting in Plan B if we are too busy being overwhelmed in grief from Plan A (that by the way…never happened, was never going to happen, and literally only existed as a figment in our imagination)?

Mindfulness teaches us to keep our thoughts and energy in the current moment. This is particularly challenging for me, but I’ve learned it’s the best path to my inner peace. When I feel the emotion of disappointment coming on, I pause. I ask myself if I am only feeling this because of an expectation I set in my own imagination, and if I am missing a gift that is right in front of me.

As we prepare for 2021, my encouragement for you is to hold the plans loosely. I believe setting goals and intentions are important. They give us something to strive toward. They help us rise into growth and self-improvement. However, we must be prepared for the curveballs that are inevitably coming.

And before I go, I know many of you probably feel disappointment the most from other people. I feel you. But it’s really not much different than what you expect from your future plans. We cannot control either people, nor plans. I try really hard to release people of crazy high expectations, especially the expectations to which I hold myself. I choose to observe people. I let their actions show me their personalities, their priorities, their insecurities, their fears, their past hurt, their strengths, their gifts, etc. When someone disappoints me, I just watch it and observe it. I allow the experience to teach me something I need to learn about myself.

In simple terms…I hold my expectations of people much like I do my plans…loosely and with gratitude.

Thanks for making it to the end of this blog post! Two options to keep going if you want more:

Looking to create more peace in your life? Then I highly recommend downloading the free E-book from my site, Create Peace. Just drop your email below and it will be sent to you.

If you happen to be a working mom, join our community on Facebook

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Why is it so hard to ask for help?

I sat with my phone in hand, staring at the text message app with tears streaming down my face. My son was due in a couple of weeks, and all I needed to do was ask a friend to accompany me to a doctor’s appointment. I was scared to go alone, and I couldn’t type the words without bawling my eyes out.

Why on earth was it so hard to ask for help?

At the end of my pregnancy, things started getting complicated as he was still breech and the due date was creeping closer. My midwife was sending me to see an OB. My husband was out of town for work, and all my family members had work schedules they couldn’t adjust. I had to weigh out which fear was harder to swallow, going to this doctor’s appointment alone or asking for help.

In the end, I had three appointments where I had to ask for different friends to join me. Each time I cried through sending the request.

Since then, I’ve become acutely aware of how hard it is for me to ask for help.

It manifests in many ways. Piling all the tasks for work projects onto my list and having the hardest time asking other people to manage some of the weight.

Hearing the request of “let me know if you need anything,” and never letting anyone know when I need something.

Taking on more than I can handle, and then letting things slip through the cracks.

And so much more.

Two years ago, sitting with my phone in my hand while the tears fell, was a cross point of three fears. The fear of lack of control, the fear of rejection, and the fear of vulnerability.

I remember being most scared that they may say no. It’s as if I was attaching my self-worth to whether they saw my request as a priority in their lives. All three times I had to ask for a companion I started it with “do you have plans on ____.” That way if they were busy I could move on to the next option without having to hear no.

It became obvious to me that I like to be seen as strong and independent. I desperately wanted everything to be okay and for me to be able to rock these appointments solo like it was all no big deal. In asking, I had to admit to them that I was very scared. I had to admit I wasn’t okay. I had to admit I needed a support system to get through this experience.

The other fear was rooted in a lack of control. I had researched all the birth plan options. All the best providers and locations. All the Plan B’s. All of the “if this, then this” scenarios. But I didn’t map this one out. Having a breech baby and changing literally every detail of the birth plan the last couple weeks of the pregnancy wasn’t in the playbook. I felt vulnerable. I felt unprepared. I felt highly uncomfortable. Needing help just added to the vulnerable state I was in.

Since this experience, I have tried practicing asking for help more often. It’s still really hard for me, but at least now I don’t cry through the asks. Here are a few of the things I have learned:

  • Don’t be the friend that says “If you need anything let me know.” Most people don’t even know what they need and if they do, it’s so far out of their comfort zone to communicate it. It will be so hard for them to ask you to help with something, that they will probably stay silent. Just show up. Just do something.
  • The more you practice asking for help, the easier it becomes to recognize the old habits that aren’t serving you. Now when the overwhelm starts to hit, I have a much stronger radar for “I probably need to invite someone into this process to help me carry this load.”
  • Asking for help is a sign of strength. I believe one of the reasons it’s so challenging is it makes us feel weak to ask for help. In reality, it takes great courage.
  • Most people really like to help, they just don’t know how. Letting them know how you could use some help will empower them to feel wanted and needed. Being direct about our needs can actually be helpful to our friends and family.

Thanks for making it to the end of this blog post! Two options to keep going if you want more:

Looking to create more peace in your life? Then I highly recommend downloading the free E-book from my site, Create Peace. Just drop your email below and it will be sent to you.

If you enjoy reading these posts, then drop your email into the box at the footer of the website and you will get an email from me each week with a new post.

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Have You Heard?

Have you heard of third way thinking?

I have been talking about third way thinking for a few years now in my conversations, and I almost never encounter someone else who is familiar with the concept.

First of all, before you chase down the wrong rabbit hole…don’t start Googling the term. You’ll find lots of different political interpretations. I am specifically referring to Jesus’ Third Way. He was the original model of this concept. So, toss his name into your Google search and you might land on some relevant material to this conversation.

Third way thinking is the concept of an alternative reaction to violence. Most of the time violence looks like this:

Country 1: I bomb you.

Country 2: Oh yeah! You wanna see a BOMB, take THIS. (Bigger bomb drops)

Country 1: Oh really…well, now I am going to spend several months or years preparing something even more violent that will hit you where you least expect it

Country 2: Oh no you did not! Now you are REALLY going to pay.

You get the point.

It just keeps violence in cycle.

Most of the time, people think they only have two options when responding to violence (or insult or any form of mistreatment). Pay them back, or do nothing and walk away.

In the Christian circles, a lot of the teaching actually centers around Jesus’ peace approach being the “do nothing and walk away,” but that’s not what he taught.

Jesus led a non-violent revolution. His existence began the demise of the Roman Empire, one of the largest empires in the history of humanity. He broke the system. But how? Folks…it was NOT by killing them with kindness.

Let’s take the example of “turn the other cheek.” We hear that one a lot.

Prior to understanding the social and cultural context of the story, I always thought it meant that when someone harms you it’s better to let them harm you more than to fight back. Nope…that is not what he was saying. At all.

Here’s the scripture for context (Matthew 5:39 KJV)

“But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.”

This scripture is often interpreted to mean that if someone is mean to you, it’s better to keep taking it than to retaliate. Human nature is that if someone slaps you, you slap back. But there is so much more happening beneath the surface of the scriptures when we dig deeper.

What I have since come to learn is that Jesus was talking to his followers in his sermon on the mount. These people were all oppressed by the Roman empire. At that time, a slap on the right cheek would have been from someone with authority over you. You slapped a peer on the left cheek.

Meaning, what Jesus was saying is, if a Roman soldier slaps you on the right cheek, turn your left cheek to him. It’s not violent, but it sends the message of “how about you treat me like an equal.” It bucks the system. We all know that Jesus bucked the system so much that they ended up killing him for it, even though he only used non-violence to spread his message.

This message is absolutely relevant to every single one of us today. When we are faced with a situation where we feel our options are to mirror back someone’s wrong actions or to walk away and do nothing…maybe neither is the right response. Maybe the response is a third option that lets them know we see their behavior but we aren’t playing their game.

Third way thinking friends.

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Change Your Story

In almost every 1:1 coaching call I have done in the last six months there has been a resounding theme. The same issue is keeping nearly everyone stuck.

Limiting beliefs.

We’re going to talk about them today because once we can recognize them, we can override them.

In case you are not aware, a limiting belief is a belief you adopt about yourself or the world around you. We treat them as facts, when in reality, they are usually stories we are choosing to tell ourselves.

Because we have control over our thoughts and beliefs, we also have the ability to override the dialogue in our minds. If we’re telling ourselves a story, we can flip the narrative. We can write a narrative that works in our favor.

Allow me to demonstrate a few examples…I will put myself on display first.

Old Story:

I am over weight. If only I could drop X number of pounds, then I would be beautiful.

New Story:

I am beautiful.

Reality:

The ideal weight for my age, height and body type is about 20 pounds less than what I weigh. However, the ability to see myself as beautiful is not connected to that number.

I taped the new belief to my mirror and read it every single morning while I brushed my teeth for over a year before I TRULY believed it. It was uncomfortable and awkward to look at myself fresh out of bed, or naked about to get in the shower, or after an exhausting day and TRULY believe “I am beautiful.” But eventually, I adopted it as the new reality. And I still weigh the exact same I did a few years ago when I held a different belief. Same body, different perspective.

Second example:

Old Story:

I am too bold. I make people feel uncomfortable and am too much. I need to remain quiet.

New Story:

Being bold takes courage, and I am brave.

Reality:

This was creating massive internal conflict because I was silencing myself and not living authentically. I had to get comfortable being my true self, even if it meant some people may not like me. I couldn’t maintain not liking myself.

Recently, I encountered a few limiting beliefs with some clients, which I will share anonymously.

Old Story:

I cannot make a difference because I’m introverted.

New Story:

My strength is being an introvert. I will use my gift to find the most effective way I can have impact.

Reality:

Extroverts are loud and heard. Introverts are usually the ones taking action quietly and getting the job done. They don’t need to be heard to make a difference.

On this particular call, this client was feeling heavy and weighed down by the weight of the world. It was affecting her mentally and spiritually as she felt unable to help because she’s quiet. We discussed the differences between introverts and extroverts and how this would make her stronger in certain roles. Once she realizes she is enough just as she is, watch out world. Her impact will create mighty ripples.

Next Example:

Context: After many years of a struggling marriage, the couple realized they needed to get divorced. Despite the relationship ending, they were still sharing a home many months later.

Old Story:

Because my daughter is going into her senior year, we can’t separate.

New belief:

Now is the perfect timing to start our new lives.

Reality:

The daughter is already living in the home with the broken marriage. This isn’t new information. But you do have the next year to allow her to see how a woman supports herself independently and how adults can grow, change, develop and do hard things. When she’s older, this year can serve as a living example of how she can face hard things too. It was the action that needed to happen in her family. She possessed the power to choose the story she told herself about it.

When you feel yourself stuck in an area, try to reflect on what beliefs you may be holding that are opinions, not facts. They are usually our only limitation to living our best life. And…if you can’t see them for yourself…hire a coach. That’s what we’re here for.

Thanks for making it to the end of this blog post! Two options to keep going if you want more:

Looking to create more peace in your life? Then I highly recommend downloading the free E-book from my site, Create Peace. Just drop your email below and it will be sent to you.

If you enjoy reading these posts, then drop your email into the box at the footer of the website and you will get an email from me each Wednesday with a new post.

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When confidence is repulsive

During the quarantine I read Glennon Doyle’s latest release Untamed. There is so much to love about this book, but today I want to talk about these quotes:

“I have noticed that it seems far easier for the world to love a suffering woman than it is for the world to love a joyful, confident woman…

…I have been conditioned to mistrust and dislike strong, confident, happy girls and women. We all have…

…We become people who say of confident women ‘I don’t know, I can’t explain it—it’s just something about her. I just don’t like her. I can’t put my finger on why’…

…Their brazen defiance and refusal to follow directions makes us want to put them back into their cage.”

Raise your hand if this felt like a punch in the stomach to you? I highlighted the heck out of this chapter because I have not read many books where I resonated so deeply.

I have dealt with this my entire life. My mama raised all three of her kids to be confident. Whenever we would come home from school and tell her someone didn’t like us or wasn’t nice to us she would say “Oh, don’t worry about them. They are just jealous of you.” Every. Single. Time. We would roll our eyes and tell mama she was crazy, but you know those words sank into our subconscious.

Have I been walking around the earth thinking everyone is jealous of me? HAHA! Heck-to-the-NO!!! But, I have been walking around giving little to no energy toward what others think of me for a verrrrrrry long time.

My M.O. is that I get super attached to a mission I am on, and then I go get it done. Along the way I don’t play victim, I never ask for a pity party, I never give energy to someone else’s worries and concern, I just keep trail blazing.

At the end of my high school senior year I was offered the editor position for my local magazine, and I accepted. At 18 I was managing a staff of freelance writers who were mostly in their 40’s-60’s. It required learning curves for me and them, but my bosses (a husband and wife team) were always so encouraging. I ended up working for them for seven years and held several different positions in the company. One day I asked them “why on earth did you hire me at 18? I was a BABY!” He said ‘When you were 16 years old you called and asked to be a writer. Your very first writer’s meeting you showed up, took a seat, and believed you belonged at the table. You volunteered to write the feature, having no idea that was reserved for the senior writer, and when he dropped the ball on the deadline, you threw together a great piece in less than a week. We knew then we wanted to keep you around.”

I am forever grateful for my first “real” bosses and the potential they always saw in me. But other people, not so much. The same exact scenario from some of the other writers at that table were:

“Who the hell does she think she is just showing up and pitching ideas?”

“Where did she even come from…I’ve never heard of her. Who are her parents?”

“Well…that was bold. She has guts.” (With an eye roll)  

A year into that job several of the writers had overturned. Interestingly enough, I can distinctly remember two female writers who couldn’t handle my presence. The men were actually very kind, tolerated my youthful management learning curves and helped show me some ropes. But my very existence made multiple women uneasy and they left the publication.

In my twenties, this repeating experience deeply bothered me, and I would try to alter my personality to make other people feel more comfortable. When we live out of alignment with our authentic selves, this causes an inner war. I’ve written about this in the past. Eventually I had to just take off the lampshade and let my light be too bright for some people.

If you are a person who is “too much” for some, I want to encourage you to keep shining.

My husband is a feature film Director of Photography. This means he is a lighting EXPERT. He knows the science behind when and why you use every kind of light. He will intentionally dim, brighten, cool and warm up lights. He knows when he needs to bring out the green filters, orange filters, blue and so on. Every single shade, color and intensity is needed to tell a story.

Each. One. Matters.

If you happen to have a super confident and intense personality like I do, we are simply too bright for some people. I want to encourage you to shine at your highest settings. Just like the world needs the soft lights and the cool lights to help people feel comfortable, the world needs YOU to help inspire people outside of their comfort zones.

You do not need a lamp shade, sister. They need to go buy sunglasses.

It’s not your problem. It’s theirs.

Shine on. (As Glennon would say….you’re an effing cheetah.)

*Written by Sophia Hyde. Sophia is a certified life coach specializing in helping people create the peace they crave in their lives. Her 12 week course is currently open for enrollment and will close on May 25. There are three ways to participate: self-coaching, group coaching or 1:1 coaching. For more info, visit her website.

*To receive an email notification any time this blog is updated, subscribe by visiting the website and downloading her free e-book “Creating Peace.”