In almost every 1:1 coaching call I have done in the last six months there has been a resounding theme. The same issue is keeping nearly everyone stuck.
Limiting beliefs.
We’re going to talk about them today because once we can recognize them, we can override them.
In case you are not aware, a limiting belief is a belief you adopt about yourself or the world around you. We treat them as facts, when in reality, they are usually stories we are choosing to tell ourselves.
Because we have control over our thoughts and beliefs, we also have the ability to override the dialogue in our minds. If we’re telling ourselves a story, we can flip the narrative. We can write a narrative that works in our favor.
Allow me to demonstrate a few examples…I will put myself on display first.
Old Story:
I am over weight. If only I could drop X number of pounds, then I would be beautiful.
New Story:
I am beautiful.
Reality:
The ideal weight for my age, height and body type is about 20 pounds less than what I weigh. However, the ability to see myself as beautiful is not connected to that number.
I taped the new belief to my mirror and read it every single morning while I brushed my teeth for over a year before I TRULY believed it. It was uncomfortable and awkward to look at myself fresh out of bed, or naked about to get in the shower, or after an exhausting day and TRULY believe “I am beautiful.” But eventually, I adopted it as the new reality. And I still weigh the exact same I did a few years ago when I held a different belief. Same body, different perspective.
Second example:
Old Story:
I am too bold. I make people feel uncomfortable and am too much. I need to remain quiet.
New Story:
Being bold takes courage, and I am brave.
Reality:
This was creating massive internal conflict because I was silencing myself and not living authentically. I had to get comfortable being my true self, even if it meant some people may not like me. I couldn’t maintain not liking myself.
Recently, I encountered a few limiting beliefs with some clients, which I will share anonymously.
Old Story:
I cannot make a difference because I’m introverted.
New Story:
My strength is being an introvert. I will use my gift to find the most effective way I can have impact.
Reality:
Extroverts are loud and heard. Introverts are usually the ones taking action quietly and getting the job done. They don’t need to be heard to make a difference.
On this particular call, this client was feeling heavy and weighed down by the weight of the world. It was affecting her mentally and spiritually as she felt unable to help because she’s quiet. We discussed the differences between introverts and extroverts and how this would make her stronger in certain roles. Once she realizes she is enough just as she is, watch out world. Her impact will create mighty ripples.
Next Example:
Context: After many years of a struggling marriage, the couple realized they needed to get divorced. Despite the relationship ending, they were still sharing a home many months later.
Old Story:
Because my daughter is going into her senior year, we can’t separate.
New belief:
Now is the perfect timing to start our new lives.
Reality:
The daughter is already living in the home with the broken marriage. This isn’t new information. But you do have the next year to allow her to see how a woman supports herself independently and how adults can grow, change, develop and do hard things. When she’s older, this year can serve as a living example of how she can face hard things too. It was the action that needed to happen in her family. She possessed the power to choose the story she told herself about it.
When you feel yourself stuck in an area, try to reflect on what beliefs you may be holding that are opinions, not facts. They are usually our only limitation to living our best life. And…if you can’t see them for yourself…hire a coach. That’s what we’re here for.
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