The Power of our Emotions

Our thoughts play a mighty powerful role in our lives. Some of these thoughts we choose to think. Some of these thoughts we do not even realize are optional. They were conditioned into us by society, culture, or words spoken to us in childhood.

If we are not intentional about observing the thoughts we are thinking, then we can accidentally place ourselves on a path we have no desire to be walking. 

In my free mini-course I talk more in depth about this, but one of the most powerful ways we can discover, reflect and change our thoughts is to listen to our emotions. 

Our emotions are so powerful. They are not good or bad. They just are. Some emotions are rewarded and some punished. For example, we often strive to feel happy and punish ourselves for feeling sad or angry. Every emotion we are feeling has so much to teach us and empower us if we just pause enough to listen. 

There is a downloadable free PDF in the mini-course I referred to that makes this all super simple, but for today I want to walk through the questions on there and discuss their value. 

I believe there is TREMENDOUS VALUE in journaling these questions on a regular basis. Whether we are experiencing a high or a low, we can learn so much about ourselves by pausing and asking what made us feel this way? The questions are: 

How am I feeling?

What is causing this feeling?

What is the thought behind this feeling? 

What is factual and what is not factual about this thought?

What can I learn about myself?

Is there a new thought I can create?

Are there any actions I can take?

If you want to see an example of where I did these reflections you can just look in the course materials, but I have a challenge for you today. 

Stop. 

Pause. 

Get out a sheet of paper. 

Read those questions again, but this time journal what comes to mind. 

For real. Try it. Don’t just keep scrolling or chase the next dopamine hit of another notification on your phone. Give yourself this gift. 

If you learned something about yourself, shoot me an email or a DM with your experience. I would love to hear from you.

“You are what you are and you are where you are because of what has gone into your mind. You change what you are and you can change where you are by changing what goes into your mind.” -Zig Ziglar

When Self-Care Doesn’t Look the Same

We hear all about self-care, but too often it’s misconstrued with pampering. Pampering can be self-care, but it is not always.

For example, my husband hates massages because he cannot stand when people touch him. Personally, I do not like the smell of a nail salon, it gives me a headache.

Self-care comes in the form of prioritizing the things that can restore your energy, which looks different for every person. For an introvert, this may look like time alone. For an extrovert, like myself, self-care involves prioritizing time with my friends and community groups.

There was a period in my early motherhood where I thought being a great mom meant focusing only on my business and my family. I resigned from different positions I held and scaled back on all the “extras” in my life so that I could give all my energy where it mattered most.

In retrospect, this was a terrible decision. My husband says it was the hardest period in our 16 year relationship to be married to me.

After about two years of this lifestyle, a friend invited me to attend a community group. I had an amazing time, started plugging in and began meeting new, like-minded people. It was like I came back to life.

I felt re-energized, excited and more myself than I had in years.

So over the next year, I looked for areas of interest in my community where I could plug in and start using my strengths to give and contribute. I felt whole again.

For some people, this would be the opposite of self-care. They are already giving and doing so much that self-care may look like staying home. Or it may look like pouring your energy into an idea you have been wanting to birth. Maybe self-care is learning to say no to spending time with the people who are leaving you feeling drained, and instead finding ways to spend more time around the people who bring you joy.

Don’t get me wrong, my self-care still involves at least a weekly long bath because I love them. I block time for my exercise, taking care of my aesthetic appearance (this could be an entire blog post for another day of what this means to me), and having quiet time at home with my thoughts and my rituals.

To be honest, self-care has really found its way into every single area of my life and dominates my day.

I like to think of self-care as the difference between a colander and a bowl.

If the kitchen sink is running water, a colander is when my self-care is empty and drained. No matter how much I take in, too much is going out. A bowl is where as the self-care comes in, I am able to hold onto so much of it that not only do I feel full, but I am giving in abundance. The sides of the bowl are running over.

When most of my life revolves around the things that give me energy instead of exhaust me, and I am making sure that I feel well-loved and cared for by my own actions, then I have so, so, so much energy to share.

Take care of yourself today friends. Be a bowl.

Much love,

Sophia Hyde

Our Family’s Mental Health Journey

It’s never an easy task to open up a public conversation around your mental health, but it’s even harder when it’s your kid.

Today, I am going to open up some doors and windows to my family’s private journey for a very intentional reason. 

The protagonist in this story is my daughter. I wish she could be authoring this post, but alas, she’s seven. So I am choosing to write about our experiences parenting a child with a mental health obstacle to climb and the journey that brought us tremendous help. I sat down with my daughter and asked her which parts of her story mommy could tell people about and which she doesn’t want shared.

In March, I stumbled across a random account online that was a woman talking about her mental health journey with full vulnerability. She shared her experiences, her symptoms and her solutions. I began to follow the holistic psychiatric clinic she used and the psychiatrists she attributed to helping her. When my husband and I hit the end of our ropes, I knew that if anyone could help our daughter it would be this practice. And they did. 

It’s much easier to talk about this now that the hardest moments are all in the past and are memories. Today she’s in full health. My hope and desire is that someone else who is walking in the pain of uncertainty and helplessness will also be able to find answers because we decided to tell our story. 

I tried my best to format this post in a way that is easiest to read and most helpful to all. I’m using a Q&A format below so you can easily scroll through the parts that you’re curious about: 

What is the mental health issue you were/are facing?

We realized around the age of five that our daughter exhibited many symptoms of childhood anxiety. By age seven we reached a point where the symptoms were elevating and we needed professional help. 

What were/are her symptoms?

Most people in our lives had no idea she wasn’t neurotypical. She is an angel at school, with friends, with family, in social settings. She has always thrived. Her symptoms only ever manifested at home. 

Rather than share her specific symptoms, I am going to post some common symptoms of anxiety because many parents don’t realize that’s what is happening. Many people try to discipline their children’s behaviors or will ignore them rather than realizing it’s anxiety manifesting and they need help. 

For the sake of brevity, I picked a few. For a full description on the seven types of anxiety and the symptoms, here is a link to the page on the clinic’s website. 

  • Frequent feelings of nervousness or anxiety
  • Panic attacks
  • Avoidance of people or places due to a fear of having anxiety or panic attacks
  • Symptoms of heightened muscle tension (headaches, sore muscles, hand tremor)
  • Periods of heart pounding, nausea, or dizziness
  • Tendency to predict the worst
  • Multiple persistent fears or phobias (such as dying or doing something crazy)
  • Conflict avoidance
  • Excessive fear of being judged or scrutinized by others
  • Being easily startled or a tendency to freeze in anxiety-provoking or intense situations
  • Shyness, timidity, and getting easily embarrassed
  • Biting fingernails or picking skin
  • Obsessive-compulsive disorder (stuck on negative thoughts or actions)
  • Phobias (stuck on a fear)
  • Eating disorders (stuck on negative eating behavior)
  • Excessive or senseless worrying
  • Upset when things are out of place or things don’t go the way you planned
  • Tendency to be oppositional or argumentative
  • Tendency to have repetitive negative or anxious thoughts
  • Tendency toward compulsive or addictive behaviors
  • Intense dislike for change
  • Tendency to hold grudges
  • Difficulty seeing options in situations
  • Tendency to hold onto own opinion and not listen to others
  • Needing to have things done a certain way or you become upset
  • Others complain you worry too much
  • Tendency to say “no” without first thinking about the question
  • Persistent physical symptoms (such as headaches, digestive problems, or chronic pain)
  • Restlessness, irritability, or excessive crying

There are many more listed on this site or other reputable sources, but this starts to give you an idea of how it can easily go undetected as a personality trait, bad attitude, etc.

What is the clinic you took her to and what makes them different?

We used the Amen Clinic. They have many locations around the U.S., but the one closest to us is in Atlanta. Their approach is to do specific brain scans on a patient, figure out exactly what’s happening in that brain, and then design a treatment plan to give that brain the support it needs. 

Their treatment plans involve a combination of lifestyle changes, food plans, exercise, and prescriptions. Every situation is different. I highly recommend reading through their website to understand more about what they do. 

What did the brain scans reveal?

The brain scans were amazing. They gave us so many answers that I just sat on the couch and cried as I finally got a glimpse of what was happening in her mind. Everything made sense in one moment. We were able to see that the reason she was struggling almost exclusively at night is because her brain is in hyper activity in certain centers all day long, so by the end of the day her brain was exhausted. It was giving out before the rest of her body. 

When we saw the specific areas of the brain that were overactive, and the list of behaviors that may manifest when those centers are out of balance, they DIRECTLY correlated with the experiences we were having. 


In summary, the scans revealed that she needed help balancing a couple centers, and that her brain doesn’t rest well throughout the day.

What was the treatment plan?

The Amen Clinic works with every patient to put them on a completely different plan, so our experience will not be the same as others. In our case, they prescribed the following:

  • The elimination diet to discover what foods, if any, may be causing inflammation
  • A list of very specific supplements that target the specific centers she needed balancing 
  • 30 min daily exercise
  • Daily breathwork exercises
  • Blood work
  • Specific food schedule (We may laugh about getting “hangry,” but it’s a thing. Hunger can cause behavioral changes)

Elimination diet? What’s that? And did you find out anything?

The elimination diet is where you remove the most common allergens for an extended period of time and then reintroduce them slowly to see if symptoms arise. We put her on a crazy strict diet in June that was a lot of work, but worth it. In July, as we reincorporated foods back in we discovered that food dyes, high fructose corn syrup and gluten triggered her symptoms. 

Isn’t gluten, food dyes and high fructose corn syrup in everything?!?!? 

Yep. Pretty much. 

But it’s not as hard as you think. Grocery stores have come a long way in the last 10 years. We can find alternatives for almost anything.

However, it requires intentional planning. We went to our first kid birthday party last week and packed our own gluten free pizza, snacks and desserts. She’s been a real trooper and so brave.

I am so proud of how well she is handling this new lifestyle. We pack her lunch and snacks for school as well. We’ve basically eliminated other people feeding her. It requires a lot of pre-planning on our end, but it’s worth it.

Have you noticed a difference? 

OH MY GOSH YES!!!!!! It’s been 8 weeks since her last meltdown!!! You don’t understand. We were having these a couple times a week. I referred to them as panic attacks before when I didn’t know what else to call them. Maybe they were, maybe they weren’t. I’m not a psychologist. But I do know that she would have a 15-30 minute episode where she didn’t have control over her mind. And we haven’t had one in two months. That alone makes all of this worth it. 


We also don’t have any of the whining and resistance that were nails on a chalkboard for us daily before. She is pretty happy, chill and compliant. She’s a normal seven year old so tries to test her boundaries when we tell her to clean her room or do her chores, but it’s age appropriate responses now.  

So is it “fixed”? 

Mental health is a fluid, ongoing experience. We all need to be monitoring and managing our mental health. The more we understand about how our brains work, the better we can take care of ourselves.


Currently, eliminating the foods that cause her inflammation and taking a very specific combination of vitamins and supplements are keeping almost all the symptoms at bay. The beauty is now that she understands what’s happening in her brain, she has language to tell us what’s going on. And vice versa, now that we know what’s happening, we can help her better regulate her needs. 

I’m really interested in this conversation and want to learn more about this topic and other mental health issues, how can I learn more? 

The website is a wealth of knowledge, but the most fascinating part to me is looking at the images of the brain scans they do! You can actually see what things like ADD, depression, PTSD, trauma or so many more things look like in the brain. I initially found the clinic and Dr. Amen on Instagram and absolutely loved their posts and videos before I finally went to their website to understand more. Their content on mental health is great, so I highly recommend following them. Click to follow Amen Clinics. Click to follow Dr. Amen. 

P.S. Just so you know, I am only blogging this because I want to. The clinic has helped our family so much that I wanted to share our story. This is not a sponsored post or partnership of any kind. Just a mom sharing my experience. 

If you have any other questions, drop them in the comments. I will answer them if I can. 

Are you too much?

Have you ever been told you are too much of something? 

I’ve been told this my entire life. 

You are too loud. Too talkative. Too bossy. Too bold. Too smart. Too honest. Too intimidating. Too committed. Too energetic. Too passionate. Too serious. Too busy. 

I was a lot of too many things. 

I don’t recall any insecurities prior to around the eighth grade. That was really the turning point when my “too muchness” started costing me opportunities and relationships. Prior to that, my parents had managed to prop me up with an incredible amount of confidence. 

When I was the fattest kid in my class in the fifth grade and someone didn’t like me, my mother told me it was because I was too pretty and they were jealous of me. Part of me knew it sounded ludicrous, but part of me also thought there was a chance it could be true, so I just kept on strutting along. 

As middle school, high school, and entering the workforce as a strong female will do, comments wore me down. Rarely were they one thing said by one person. It was the subtle messaging here and there. It was much more comparable to trimming with a nail file rather than a fingernail clipper. Bit my bit, my spirit was worn down by believing a story that if I were to be successful, I needed to conform to the energy in the room. 

Have you heard the reference, “when you stay silent to keep the peace, you start a war within yourself.” That was me.

I spent much of my twenties at war with myself. I was in a constant battle of trying to figure out what the world wanted from me, how I truly wanted to show up, and what relationships I was willing to lose if my brightness was too blinding. 

There are two catalyst moments that occurred closely together that allowed me to see just how far I had allowed myself to shrink.

One was driving down the road listening to the audiobook version of The Big Leap. (I wrote about the principles from that book in this post). Tears streamed down my face so uncontrollably I had to pull over to safely drive. When I learned what the “fear of outshining” was, I realized exactly why I had stepped back from the A+ version of myself, to preferring a B or second place in absolutely everything I did. God forbid I make someone around me feel uncomfortable. 

The second moment was a conversation on the couch with my husband. As calm and reserved of a man he is, when I said, “I just have to keep this part of myself hidden because it’s not worth the disruption,” he literally exploded. I have never seen him that angry, to this day. He was furious that I would settle for hiding myself from the world to maintain a balance of relationship that wasn’t serving me. 

Shortly after, I started showing up more as myself. I pinned to my bathroom mirror the quote from Brene Brown, “Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” It is still there today.

As I showed up in rooms, spaces, and online as my authentic self, people became uncomfortable. I wasn’t wrong in my assumption.

Online, I’ve been unfriended and unfollowed. 

In real life, I’ve watched people distance themselves from me. I’ve noticed the invitations that didn’t come my way anymore. Once, I even watched from a buffet line as someone started to sit at my table and then go find a new seat when they realized that was my purse. 

But do you know what else has happened?

Like a magnet, new people have come into my life. I have added some incredible friendships to my world.

For every one of the people I’ve lost, I’ve gained people who beam with excitement when I walk in a room because they’ve been waiting to tell me something. I have people sliding into my DMs and messenger who feel like I’m one of the only safe spaces for them to discuss something. And I have people hiring me as their coach because they know I am someone who can be trusted. 

Although those are great benefits, they pale in comparison to the peace that comes from knowing I am right where I belong. There is a joy unspeakable that occurs when we are living in our integrity. When we decide to love our story, love our past, love our strengths, embrace our weaknesses and thrive anyway…it’s priceless. 

I am raising a daughter. Since she was born I have guarded her from conformity. Every comment she brings home with how things “should” be, I override with choice. I allow her to show up as her full self. I find another room to step in to laugh when I find it hysterical. Like today, she proudly left for her third day of second grade wearing sparkling Minnie Mouse ears and felt gorgeous. 

I will spend the rest of my life guarding spaces for people to show up without judgement from me. I will make sure that all the people who have been handed a story of being “too much” for this world in one way or another will know they are safe to let their guards down when they are around me. 

May you always be too much of yourself.

———

Sophia Hyde is a certified coach who specializes in helping busy people release their favorite selves. She teaches a 10-week course that accompanies 20-minute coaching sessions to lead people through the process of defining what that looks like in their own lives. If you would like to schedule a complimentary strategy session to see if coaching is right for you, click here

3 Reasons Why August is the Ideal Time for Goal Setting

In American culture, it’s very popular to discuss goals around the new year. From the day after Christmas, into the first half of January, goal setting tends to dominate our dialogue. 

Personally, my FAVORITE time of year to revisit goals and jump into massive action is August, and here are the reasons why: 

  1. Most people are deadline driven

The average person is deadline motivated. Most of us tend to focus on the urgent needs in front of us and put on the back burner the items that can wait. When a goal for the year is set in January, it’s easy to defer taking action. There is a wide gap between the starting line and the deadline. 

The nice part about August is that you start to get that urgency feeling. OOF! Seven months have already passed. If I am going to hit this goal by the end of the year, I better start jumping on it right now. Summer has passed and the nearness of the end of the year starts to add that necessary pressure. 

  1. Summer Vibes are Dwindling 

When summer hits, many people take their eyes off their goals. It’s very easy to set it all aside when we take a vacation and mentally want to check out. However, it’s also very common that we forget to pick the baton back up when we return home. The general feel of summer is to chill, which doesn’t coincide with taking massive action toward our goals. 

August is the perfect transition. We mentally feel like it’s time to tuck away the flip flops and get out the running shoes. 

  1. Routines Matter 

One of the most important aspects of achieving goals is to break them down into habits and to build those habits into our routines. For many people, the summer is full of interruptions to the routines. Whether it’s traveling, house guests, kids at home, or many other factors, the daily rituals can be more challenging. With August comes a return to normal, and it’s much easier to habit-stack those daily rituals that will lead to success. 

If you would like to use a proven template to model your goals in a way that will help you be successful in achieving them, click here for an example of how I design mine.

If you feel stuck or have been stagnant with achieving your goals, click this link to schedule a complimentary strategy session.

The phrase that won’t leave my mind

I heard this phrase the other day that I cannot get out of my mind.

Your favorite self.

It’s just three words, but the inferences of the phrase say so much more.

Phrases like “your best self” and “your potential” and “step into your greatness” have always left me feeling off. I have used them each countless times as I couldn’t find words in the English language to describe that gap between who we are and who we want to be.

The reality is, most of us feel a gap. A gap between here and something else. That something else has always been hard to define.

Ironically, what I have learned in my own growth, and by helping so many others, is that rarely ever is that gap something to be achieved or something to strive for in the distance.

In most cases, that gap is inverted. It’s the gap between who we truly are deep down and the version of ourselves we are presenting to the world.

Possibly, we are living a version of ourselves that school trained us to be, who we believed our friends admired, who our families raised us to be, who we saw idolized on the big screen. The stories in our minds of who we should be can come from so many places. But the reality of who we really are is something only we can uncover.

And that introspection, that depth, that unlearning, that awakening…THAT is what I want to see come alive in others. I want to offer a match to a flame that has just been sitting dormant, ready to be awakened.

That is your favorite self. The one who when you get a glimpse of her [or him or them], you beam with joy. The self that allows you to fully relax. The self you fear to show the world because vulnerability fills your veins when you imagine how people may respond to what they see.

Your favorite self is the one that allows you to live in peace, to tap into the flow all around you, to live the life that’s calling you.

Today, my wish for each of you is that you will release one more layer or story or roadblock that is standing in the gap between who you are today and your favorite self.

[If you think you may want a coach to guide you through this journey, click here for a link to a free strategy session. Options begin at $29/month] 

Wanna Read My Obit?

OOOOF! I’ve done it before and now I’m doing it again. I am publishing on the internet something very personal and vulnerable to me because I believe it will help others. 

In the past, I published my family’s monthly budget, my full home birth story, and the story behind why my husband and I each have our own bedrooms. These are conversations that people usually keep private for a myriad of reasons. Today feels like another one of those days where it takes courage for me to click publish. 

Today, I am publishing my personal goal sheet with you guys. It has 11 sections: 

My Why

My Obituary/Eulogy

My Vision

Each of the 7 Spokes on the Wheel of Life

My Quarterly Action Plan 

Click here to read it

In the 10-week course I teach, we spend a couple weeks laying the foundation of how to set effective goals, why it matters to have a why, evaluating where you are on the wheel of life and creating a vision for what you want to create. 


Then, for the next seven weeks we dive deeply into each of the seven spokes. 

Lastly, we use the final couple of weeks to wrap up all of that content and write your vision plan to create the life you want. It’s written in such a way that you are significantly more likely to follow through and achieve your goals. 

Between now and the end of the year, I am going to write about my experience setting these goals and the path to achieving them by the end of the year.

The last five months of the year can be so incredibly powerful if we choose to harness the opportunity. Any of those January goals that were set and not accomplished, can still be done.

I have a personality that is heavily driven by deadlines, so the end of the year is when I put my blinders on and get to work. 

Over the next five months, I am going to explain each section of this vision plan, and will be showing up on Instagram almost every day in my stories to track the progress of each spoke. 

I have a pretty clearly defined reason for doing this, and I’ll happily share my motivation with you. 

The purpose of this blog and my entire coaching practice is to motivate and inspire people to create the lives they desire. I want you to be your absolute favorite version of yourself. Publishing my goals and publicly tracking them will make it crystal clear and obvious how the path to your success (however you define it) is paved in the small, daily decisions made over an extended period of time. It requires lots of self-love and grace. And it’s messy. 

Now, let’s track my beautiful mess for the next 23 weeks.


If you have life changes you would like to create and are curious to see if hiring a coach may be beneficial to you, click here to schedule a complimentary strategy session with me. In this one hour call, I will walk you through an exercise that will give us a clear picture of where you are and where you want to be and then we will discuss the best next steps for you to get there.

Behind the Scenes of the Clean House

After 30 years of being unable to consistently keep my house clean, I have managed for the last month to have a clean house every single day. It’s a trend I plan to keep (though I know there will be bad days, obviously), but the work it took to get here is not what I expected it would entail.

Last week I published the list that is keeping my family more organized. Today, I want to give you a behind the scenes look at what has been happening in my mind and the actions I took to create these changes.

Before I dive in, I want to explain why I wanted to create this change. Let me be clear, you can live a happy, fulfilling amazing life and live in a messy space. The cleanliness of your home and your worth/value in the world are NOT attached. You do what’s best for you. The reason I wanted to make this change was because the clutter and the mess were a constant source of stress for me.

Now that I am working from home, it was not sustainable for me to keep it messy. It was creating anxiety. I also found that it was very hard for me to create when the house was a disaster. Literally half my work week is content creation, so something had to give.

First and foremost, for years I have been studying life changes and chose the coaching certification program I did because it was based on five decades of studying sustainable life changes. Therefore, I already understood some core principles, which I applied to making these changes in my life. Before I started, I fundamentally understood that:

  • The best way to change your life is to change something you do daily
  • Focusing on ONE HABIT is more successful than tackling many at one time
  • Changing your thoughts and what you believe to be true are the best way to reclaim your power

Last week, I blogged about my list on the fridge. This tackled bullet points one and two above. I had to put on paper what needed to be done daily and then create the discipline to use that list as my guide.

For that last bullet point, the more we understand ourselves and the way our brains work, the more we can use this information to our advantage.

To give you a glimpse into what is beneath my surface:

  • I am a D on the DISC assessment , meaning my mind is HIGHLY task oriented
  • I am an Enneagram 7, meaning I love to follow my whims and am easily distracted
  • I have ADHD, meaning I legitimately forget things I start on a constant basis, and I have a tendency to hyper focus on projects that may or may not be relevant

Obviously, those are ridiculously shallow synopses of terms I used above, but those are the facets of the parts of me that manifest the most in how I do, or do not, keep a clean house.

In addition to understanding these things about myself, I also recently learned from a therapist that there are many reasons some people have a hard time keeping a house clean. ADHD is one of them, but another is the language they were raised with. This one was a HUGE “aha” moment for me.

I have literally been told my entire life that I am terrible at cleaning. Obviously there was probably some truth behind this, but the reality is, our brains absorb and believe what they are told. So since for 34 years my parents, siblings, husband and yes, even my 7-year-old daughter, have told me that I’m not good at keeping a clean house, I believed everyone. I accepted this as a truth about me.

The belief I held was that there are two types of people in the world: those who are good at cleaning and those who are not. And I believed that I am one of those people who are not.

It was about a month ago when I realized that it was highly possible that this was a programmed belief, and I may be able to change it. So I ran an experiment.

I decided to try on a new me.

I began to tell myself every single day that I am someone who keeps a clean house. I am someone who values and prioritizes living in a clean space.

It sounds so, so simple but inside it felt extremely strange. It felt like wearing someone else’s clothes to say those words to myself. I was trying on a new identity and experimenting what it felt like.

The list I published last week was birthed out of first changing what I believed about myself. I started with believing I was someone who lived in a clean house. Then, I asked myself “for this to be true, what needs to happen?”

I realized that many daily habits had to change, so I put them on paper.

The hardest part of all of it honestly was I had to prioritize and accept the reality of how much time it takes. Adding steps into my morning and evening routine meant there wasn’t as much room for other things.

For me, those changes manifested in two ways. The phone had to go. I cannot check my phones in the mornings or evenings. Even for 5 minutes. That little notification can derail me. That five minutes I took to reply to a DM was the 5 minutes I needed to use to put away everything sitting on the kitchen island.

I also have to go to bed earlier so that I can wake up earlier. My “put the kids to bed and then unwind with scrolling” doesn’t fit anymore. And I’ll be honest, it’s hard for me. I am training myself that I cannot sit on the couch and relax until my list is done. Often times the conversation I have in my brain sounds exactly like my battles with my 7 year old. “BUT I DON’T WANT TO!!!!!!!!!!!!!” and then I remind myself, “Sophia, you are someone who values keeping a clean house. This means that before you sit down you need to finish your list.”

Here’s the hard truth guys, I’m going to complain either way. Have you ever heard that saying that life is just about picking which pain you most want to avoid? I don’t get the option of avoiding pain. I am actively choosing which pain is worse. The pain of doing my chores when I am tired and don’t feel like it or the pain of waking up in the morning and feeling overwhelm everywhere I look.

In case you didn’t read last week’s post, please note that one of the greatest benefits of publishing the list on the fridge is that it empowers my family and everyone is helping to contribute to the work more, and I decreased my mental load. So the reality is, we are ALL powering through doing more of what we don’t feel like doing. I want to make it clear that I am not carrying the burden of the house alone.

Until we can afford to hire a maid to come and clean up after the family every day, we don’t get the option where we get to both have a clean house and not have to do the work even when we don’t want to.

The last thing I want to touch on today is grace. As you read this blog, please meet yourself where you are. When I worked full time 45-50 hours outside of the home with a five year old and a newborn, keeping a clean house simply WAS NOT AN OPTION. Changing thought work and habits was irrelevant information. It was survival mode to keep everyone fed, clothed and where they needed to be each day. The only goal I could aim for was to not have filth. Getting dinner cleaned up so no food sat out was the only goal I could aim for and often times I fell short.

The reason I moved this goal up to the top of my list right now is because I am in a season of my life where I am the only thing standing in the way. I work from home. I have a less than five minute commute to drive the children to childcare and about half the time I have the support of a second parent to help carry the load.

Please, take in all this information with a grain of salt and honor yourself with where you are and what is realistically attainable for you. Every single day from 6:00-8:30am and 5:00-8:00pm we are dedicating to the daily habits on those lists. It takes 5-6 hours of my day EVERY SINGLE DAY to take care of my family’s needs, my needs, and keep it tidy. If you do not have the time for how it would translate in your life, then find the most realistic habits to bring you peace of mind that are sustainable.

Let me know in the comments if any part of a behind-the-scenes into my mind was helpful you!

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Sophia Hyde is a certified life coach. If you would like help creating sustainable life changes in any area of your life, schedule a complimentary strategy session with Sophia to see if working together may be a good fit for you.

Keeping the House Clean and Alleviating Mental Load

I have found the simplest solution to keeping my house cleaner, alleviating mental load and stress from my plate, and getting out the door easier.

As I shared last week, recently our family had a lot of changes that led to overwhelm, decision fatigue and a heavier mental load for me to carry. I knew this wasn’t sustainable, so I had to find some solutions to lighten my load. 

I ran an experiment for the last two weeks that has proven to be wildly successful.

I created a list for everyone in the family for their daily rituals that stays on the fridge. Anything that needs to be done daily in the house is written down, visible for all to see. 

Initially I wrote it all down because it was too much for me to carry in my mind. I was regularly forgetting small details. I needed a list to reference to keep me on task in the mornings and evenings.

What I discovered was that by getting it out of my head and onto paper for everyone to see, the whole family was empowered to step up. 

Every time my daughter would ask, “Mom, can I play yet?” I could just say “You tell me. Check your list.” 

Previously, I would have started drilling through the questions, ”Have you brushed your teeth? Did you pack your bag? Have you filled your water bottle?” Etc. 

This solution has also helped alleviate the confusion of my husband’s role. His work schedule is all over the place. About half the time he is here to help, and half the time he’s not. Therefore, he was always looking to me with those same questions, “How can I help? What else needs to be done?” 

By making these lists, I am not only keeping myself more organized, but I alleviated stress. There is less on my plate, my house is staying so much cleaner, and we are getting out the door earlier. 

I am also going to bed every night with a clean house. Never in my entire adulthood have I been able to manage keeping my house clean daily. 

Consistent daily habits is where it is all at, my friends.

Your family’s daily rituals will look different, but I have posted mine here for inspiration. 

If you decide to run this experiment too, please post and tag me in your lists. I would absolutely love to see your rituals and hear if it works for you! 

Let’s Talk about Overwhelm

Last week when I was listening to Glennon Doyle’s recent podcast on overwhelm, I found myself with tears running down my cheeks while putting away laundry. She pierced my soul in all the places that I know so many women can resonate. 

Decision fatigue and mental load are very real, and they overwhelm women at a disproportionate ratio to men. 

Over the last few years I have done extremely well simplifying my life, so there are very few mundane decisions to make on a daily basis. However, a month ago, it felt like the rug was wiped out from underneath me, and I was drowning in overwhelm. I want to spend more time talking about how we manage this than writing a novel about all the shit that hit the fan at the same time, so here’s the brief summary: 

In a four week period of time I had two out of town trips with small children (note, these are not vacations. Traveling with children requires more demands than staying home, parents…feel me on this one). One of those trips was for my seven year old to undergo some intense brain scans at the Amen Clinic. Following that, they placed her on five new supplements to take three times a day (all of which she hates the taste of), placed her on the elimination diet and eliminated about 20 things she can’t have in her diet for a month, and prescribed daily breathing exercises and 30 minutes of daily exercise. All of this while my husband, who normally does all of our grocery shopping, cooking and a majority of the chores, took on several temporary large work projects and was working 80 hours a week, unable to help me with anything around the house or the kids. As if that wasn’t enough to make me feel stressed, we were thrown two stomach viruses, a UTI, the Hand, Foot and Mouth virus, swimmers ear and both pets needed vet ER visits. At one point I went to an urgent care clinic 4 times in 8 days, each for a different human/pet.  

A week into the start of this, as I could feel the pressure rising, I decided I couldn’t produce content for a hot minute. I didn’t know how long the season would last, but the brain power it requires was too much. After 18 straight months of producing a weekly blog, I had to press pause. 

It felt like one of those movie scenes where someone walks into the room with a large map in their hand. They walk over to the desk, use one arm to push everything off the surface in one fail swoop and then drop the map on the table and demand, “Here. This is where we are going. Let’s determine the path.”

On that seven hour drive home from Atlanta at the beginning of June, when I was processing all that had to be managed (and didn’t even know the additional bombs that would be dropped), I made the decision that all I could handle for a quick season would be showing up for the clients who have already booked me, and making sure that each day myself and the two kids were taken care of and the house stayed relatively clean. 

This week, on Monday, I finally came up for air when, for the first time in 4 weeks, both children were dropped off to child care, and Brandon was home. I came back to a quiet house and for the first time since the middle of May I was able to ask “what does my business need from me today?”  

I decided to delve into the weeds with you this week because I know you have all felt this before, and I am here to tell you this: 

It’s okay to drop a ball. 

In case you need to hear it in different words: if you need to neglect something in your life for a hot minute to take care of an urgent priority, you can. 

I once heard a working mom on a podcast say, “Balance looks like a juggling act where I am always figuring out which balls I can drop now and pick up later. The thing I am always trying to watch for is that I don’t let a glass ball fall.” 

I know that people love to look at moms and say we are “superwoman,” but can I just say the opposite? What if we actually aren’t? What if we just own our humanity and our limitations and stop believing that we have to achieve perfection in every category. 

As I mentioned at the beginning, decision fatigue is real. Mental load is real. We can only process so much information in one day. 

Sometimes a work project may dominate all we had to give that day, so we just order pizza and tell the kids they can skip bath and sleep in their clothes as long as they brush their teeth before they get in bed. Yes. I’ve done that. Many times. 

Sometimes it looks like running from one commitment to the next for so many days in a row that the house looks like a tornado came through and it takes you two weeks before you finally have a chance to put everything back in order. 

Sometimes it looks like admitting you need help. Maybe you are in a financial position to hire the help and you can pay someone to take over the laundry, come clean weekly and/or prepare all your meals for you. Maybe you aren’t and you have to admit you’re at the end of your rope and ask someone to just take the kids for a chunk of hours because you need time alone at the house. 

Letting a ball drop is part of the process. 

Obviously there was a little voice on my shoulder saying things like “you can’t afford to stop producing content. That’s how you grow your business. You won’t attract any new followers or clients if you aren’t putting yourself out there.”

But I chose to ignore her. I listened to the voice that said,

“Or maybe it’s really important for you to go dark right now. Actions speak louder than words and you need to practice what you preach. You can’t preach priorities, rest and self-care if you don’t insert your own boundaries when you need to.”

I would have been no good to my children or my clients if I was over-extended. I chose to let something go so I could maintain high levels of energy and a clear mindset. 

I’m not gonna lie…it was hard. I had flashbacks to 2015 when I tried staying home and being the predominant caretaker. My husband told me it was the hardest period of our marriage to be around me. I am a fish out of water spending all day cooking meals and cleaning the mountain of dishes from the cooking and starting over, but I chose to choose joy. I chose to make it an act of love, and I CONSTANTLY reminded myself that it was temporary. 

As I write this post, Brandon is currently folding a week’s worth of laundry. He’s back, and the children have returned to full time daycare. All the humans and pets are healthy again. It feels good to be back. 


*Side note, I am deeply aware that many women do not have a husband that carries half the load, nor can take step backwards in business knowing their spouse can pick up the income needs. If you are a single mother trying to wear every hat and may not have a strong support system around you, please don’t get trapped in comparison. Each of our paths are unique. The message I would hope that would resonate with you would be that if you have that many more balls to juggle, then give yourself more grace when the balls fall, because they will. You are allowed to be human, not superwoman. 


Sophia Hyde is a certified life coach who helps individuals accomplish their goals by identifying behaviors and mindsets that need to change, releasing guilt, and stepping into their potential. If you would like help achieving your goals and getting “unstuck” click here to schedule a free strategy session with Sophia and discover if coaching may be a good fit for you.