Fun, Liberating Giveaway

I had a different topic planned for this week, but as often happens, life had a plan of its own. 

On Monday morning I made a spontaneous decision. As I was getting dressed to go workout, I put on my sports bra. When I went to grab a shirt, these thoughts crossed my mind (in about a 5 second period of time): 

“Ugh…every single one of these options stink. I don’t like the feeling of any fabric touching my body when I start to sweat

If only I were a man. They work out all the time without a shirt 

Well, women do too, they wear their sports bras. But I’m not small enough for that. You can’t work out in just a sports bra if you have fat rolls. 

Wait.

That’s not true 

I COULD work out in just a bra. No one is stopping me. It’s just my insecurity. 

I do not like wearing a shirt. They all stick to me. I want to just wear a bra. 

That’s it. I’m doing it. I’m going to pretend that this is a very normal occurrence and I’m going to walk out of the house in a sports bra and yoga pants. Women do this all the time. This is a normal thing in our society. I CAN do this. I am the only person stopping me from doing this.”

So I did it. 

As I walked my dog around the pond, several strangers passed by. They all behaved very normally, so I behaved normally. 

Each time I crossed someone else, I felt a little more free. I felt a little more bold. 

It turns out that any BODY can go out in a bra and yoga pants. You do not have to be under size 10 to do so (the lie I was believing). 

I posted about this experience on my Instagram and not only did I receive several comments, but my DMs blew up. So many women face insecurities about this as well. 

With the encouragement from a friend, I put out a challenge and I want to share it with you too. 

From now through Sunday night, if you post a photo of you working out in just your sports bra to Instagram (stories or a post) and tag me (@thesophiahyde), then you will be entered into a giveaway for one hour of coaching. 

The real prize though is how you feel about yourself when you do it. 

The 5 Right Questions to Ask when Buying a Car

Yesterday I sold my baby. My car for the last 5 years was so precious to me. She helped us save $25,000, so I want to tell you all the lessons she taught us.

I have found that one of the largest financial mistakes many people make revolve around their car decisions. 

When I was 20, I was not very wise. I bought my “dream car” that ended up being a financial disaster for us. At the time, these were the questions that mattered most to me, and they are the questions most people rank highest: 

  1. Do I like the aesthetic of the car? 
  2. Can I afford the payments? 
  3. How old is it? 

THESE ARE THE WRONG QUESTIONS! 

It’s not that they’re irreverent questions, it’s that they are not the MOST relevant. 

After 10 years of no car payments (no waisted money on interest), minimal repair bills and THOUSANDS of dollars being reallocated to other parts of our budget, I want to share with you the RIGHT questions to ask when buying a car: 

What are the maintenance reviews?

  • You can scour the internet for all the mad people. They complain about everything. Before purchasing a vehicle, we read all the horror stories and look for common themes. Many vehicles start needing major repairs around a certain mileage point. Maybe it’s a transmission at 50,000, or an engine at 70,000. There are almost always patterns. Look for a car that people love to rave about, verses complain about. 
  • You can literally google “Cheapest cars to maintain” and read about the annual maintenance of vehicles. Those lists were how we made a decision on my husband’s car. It was consistently on every rating list of cheap to maintain, and it’s proven to be true. 

How much life does this vehicle have?

  • Years on a vehicle are not very relevant. You want miles. You can have a one year old car that someone drove back and forth across the country or a ten year old car that was a grocery-getter. Read the reviews online about which mileage point the vehicle is typically at when people have to drop major cash on repairing it. Some vehicles you want to ditch before they even approach 100k. 
  • Keep in mind, it’s not as important how many miles it has right now. The right question is “how many more miles until I have to sink a lot of money into repairs?” Both the cars we bought in college were SUPER low in mileage, and we thought that was good. Wrong. That was EXPENSIVE. Let someone else take the major depreciation hit. Buy a car that has tons of life left in it, but has taken a huge chunk of its depreciation already. 
  • My baby I just sold was a 2000 Toyota Avalon. We bought her in 2016 with 94,000 miles. There were abundant reviews showing us they very regularly get over 300,000 miles. So yes, I bought a 16 year old car. However, she was a teenager in mileage terms and had tons of life left to go. I was able to sell it for only $2,800 less than what I paid after 5 years. The average car payment in America is $500 right now. You do the math. I saved a ton.

What does the local mechanic say? 

  • I always talk to three different people who work on cars regularly to get their thoughts on a vehicle. They see the horror stories. They know what cars are in their shops constantly and which ones are a breeze to own. I am currently in the market for a minivan and narrowed it down to two based on everything I read online. I asked two local shops and both of them said “Oh definitely the option b. We are constantly having to work on option a. If you have an option b, we will hardly ever see you in here.”

Is the title clean?

  • Make sure you read the Carfax report. Sometimes something that looks like a great deal is because it’s been through a major repair. Maybe a flood. Maybe a car accident. You want to know the history of the vehicle to make sure you aren’t walking into a trap. 

How much does it actually cost?

  • Many people just look at the payment, but there are many other factors to consider. How much will it be annually to maintain? How much does it cost to ensure this vehicle? What is the gas mileage? Does it take standard or premium gas? How much do these type of tires cost? Many people see an affordable payment, but don’t realize all the surprises hidden in owning the vehicle.

Best of luck on your next car purchase! I hope our mistakes help you avoid making the same ones we did!

How to Change Many Habits at One Time

Did you know that every now and then life will hand you a gift you probably won’t recognize? 

When we have a major life-changing event, we are presented with an opportunity to create new habits at the snap of our fingers. 

Traditionally, changing too many habits at once is nearly impossible. For most people, your brain experiences overwhelm, and after a brief period of time, you will revert back to what was comfortable. It has been proven that tackling one new habit at a time will set you up for the best long-term success. 

However, there is one exception. 

When you experience a major life change, you are forced to create all new habits at once. 


Most of the time we are not consciously aware of this opportunity so we just stumble along until we find a new normal. 


If intentional, you can set yourself up for great success, whether the new life change is positive or negative. 

Personally, I am encountering this right now. Tomorrow is my last day at the job I’ve had for four years. Beginning Monday, I am officially self-employed. Everything about my routine will be changing. For four years I have had to shuffle every aspect of my life around the concrete blocks of 8:00-5:30pm being consumed by a full-time job and the commute to and from there. 

Suddenly, come Monday morning, that giant block will disappear. Because of what I know about habits, I am choosing to consciously move into this space. Since I will be instantly forced to create new habits around my lunches and snacks, morning routine, evening routine, and time constraints, I can design them with intention. 

This morning I sat down and reflected on my goals I set for the year. I attached every single one of them to a daily habit that could help me get there. 

My challenge for you is that next time it feels like the rug is being pulled from underneath you and everything is changing in one moment, choose to see the opportunity. Regardless of whether the reason for the life change is positive or devastating, you are being handed a fresh start and can design your new normal. Choose your habits wisely and with intention.

Got a question or wanna chat about this topic? Text me at 813-946-6706.

The Most Common Limiting Belief

Limiting beliefs are the most common obstacle holding us back. 

A limiting belief is something we believe to be true about ourselves or our circumstances but is not based on fact. We THINK it’s a fact, but when we break it down, it’s a story we are telling ourselves is true. 

Recently on a coaching call, I heard one of the most common limiting beliefs arise. I decided it was appropriate to address it on the blog because if you are using this language, it’s time to change it up. 

The statement: I don’t have enough time to _______[insert something you claim is a priority to you]____________. 

We hear this one all the time, don’t we? I don’t have enough time to exercise, eat right, spend quality time with my family, market my business, do my hobby, etc. 

The reality may be that there truly is no margin left on your schedule. I have been there, but learn to reframe the situation to state what is a fact. 

For example, I cut having a regular exercise routine out of my life for two years. I know. I know. I know. I am not advocating this to other people. I do not recommend it as a lifestyle choice, but it was a conscious decision I made. 

Technically, I DID have time to exercise. There are were other things that could have been moved to make room for it, but I chose different priorities. 

I had a baby I was breastfeeding, a full-time job, and decided to launch my business on the side. Getting two kids and myself ready, dropped off to childcare, and picked up was 11 hours of every Monday-Friday. Add the cooking, cleaning, laundry, bedtime routine, and quality time with them, and I had about 1 hour of margin a day I could squeeze in. On any given day, that one hour could be used for self-care, quality time with the husband, or working on my business. 

I share that with you to say why language is important. 

Instead of saying, “I don’t have time to exercise,” I would say “My health is still a high priority to me. For this season, taking care of my health looks like prioritizing a full night’s rest, making good choices with my food, and trying to get my heart rate up when I play with my kids.” 

It was a conscious choice I made. I was not a victim. The calendar wasn’t controlling me. I knew I was in a temporary season with too many things on my plate to do it all. I chose my job, sleep, quality time with my family, and launching a new business over a routine exercise schedule. 

If “not enough time” is something you find yourself complaining about, my recommendation is to start talking about time in the language of priorities. Not getting your full night’s rest every night? Be honest with yourself about why. 

“Staying up late to ________ is more important to me than the health benefits of a full night’s rest.” Fill in your blank. Scroll social media? Read a book? Study? Check emails? Watch TV? Clean the house? I’ve consciously chosen to sacrifice a few hours of sleep for another priority on many occasions, so I’m not judging you. I’m just saying…call a spade a spade. It gives you a healthier perspective. 

If the circumstances you are in have you feeling trapped, or you feel out of control, then my recommendation is to make a gameplan of how you will change the circumstance, not accept that it is a truth about how your life always has to be. 

Sometimes the answer may be setting hard boundaries in relationships, or even ending ones that cannot be saved. It may look like asking for help, or looking for a new opportunity. Your solution could involve pivoting a new life direction, scaling back, leaning in, leaning out. Every situation is different. 

You have the time to do what matters most to you. 


Let the way you spend your time be a reflection of your priorities. 


Thanks for making it to the end of this blog post! Two options to keep going if you want more:

Looking to get from where you are now to where you want to be? Entire the 5-day Mental Fitness Challenge. You can enter your email here and Monday-Friday next week, you will receive tips each morning to help you improve your mental spoke. 

How to Improve All 7 Spokes on the Wheel of Life

This week it’s time to get back to the basics. Although I refer to the “7 spokes” almost every week, it has been quite some time since we talked on the blog about what they are.

Our lives are a complex balance of many areas. If you’re anything like me, you often feel like an octopus trapped in a human body trying to balance more plates on your hands than possible. It’s normal. 

In the Ziglar model I teach, we focus on 7 spokes of the Wheel of Life: 

Mental 

Physical (Health) 

Spiritual 

Personal (Self-Care) 

Family 

Career

Finances 

Personally, I like to add an 8th bonus spoke that I track in my life, which is Philanthropy. 

When I work with my coaching clients on achieving balance in their lives, the goal is never, ever to create an even wheel. There is no sense in striving for a goal that cannot be achieved. In the rare instances when it is achieved, it is never sustainable. That simply isn’t how life works. 


Balance is when each of the spokes is healthy, stable and strong. Some areas may be stronger than others. Some may need more support and attention than others. This makes you human. 

Each and every week as I assist in guiding my clients toward creating the lives they desire, the goal we are always working to achieve is growth. Growth is the goal. 

My recommendation to everyone in the goal setting process is to ensure that you are intentionally monitoring each of these areas of your life, and looking for room for improvement. When any one of these areas are weak, they will drag down all the others. 

Some spokes, when they become particularly high, can raise up the others. If someone is ever uncertain of which spoke to focus on first, I always recommend the mental spoke. It is the one spoke that when improved to the highest level you can attain, will naturally raise all the others. 

The other spokes, it may not work out the same. You can have all the money in the world and lack strong relationships or your health. You can have the closest family ties and be completely broke. You can get into the best shape of your life while your career is suffering. 

However, your mental spoke will lift up all the others. When you see things with a healthy perspective, are filled with gratitude, feel confident in your own skin, overflow with joy and have a positive attitude, the abundance will help every other spoke rise. 

In January, I led a free five day mental fitness challenge. If you missed out on the opportunity and would love to take a peek at the material we covered, I am opening it back up. You can enter your email here and Monday-Friday next week, you will receive tips each morning to help you improve your mental spoke. 

They Just Need to Put on Sunglasses

Did you know that you have a glass ceiling of joy? That most likely YOU are self-imposing? Several years ago I read The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. I had so many aha-moments that I have re-read it several times since. (And highly recommend it to everyone.) 

In his book, Hendricks says that we have all created a limitation for how much joy we feel worthy of experiencing, and unless we intentionally overcome it, we will always self-sabotage to keep ourselves within our comfort zone. 

One of the main things holding us back from experiencing more joy in life and achieving greater success is linked to our hidden barriers. 

I had an experience with bullying in the 8th grade. Losing all my friends at age 14 went on to fundamentally change how I interacted in the world. 

The short version of the story was that I was class president and editor-in-chief of the yearbook staff while continuously making straight A’s and achieving perfect attendance. Whereas I believed that the more successful and smart I was, the more people would like me, the reality was it had the opposite effect. 

A group of girls decided to use rumors to take me down. It became “cool” to not like Sophia and people would pretend I was invisible. The turning point was when a girl told me,

“I’m actually really smart, but I don’t let people know because people like to feel good about themselves. So if they think they’re smarter than me, they will like me more.” 

In that very vulnerable moment of my youth, I took her words as gospel. I tested it out and it worked. I applied it in high school and beyond, and it worked.

“Don’t be too successful and you will make everyone around you feel more comfortable.” 

It was Hendrick’s book that helped me to realize how this experience created a “fear of outshining” in me, and why for the rest of my life I continued to stay at just above mediocrity so as to not make others feel uncomfortable in my presence. 


I would love to say that 4 years later I have overcome this fear, but the reality is, I have not. It’s happening at such a subconscious level in me that it truly takes intention to recognize it and a conscious effort to push past it. I am a work in progress and constantly trying to remind myself that I am worthy of success. My comfort zone has become second place, and I am still trying to push past my fears and lean into my potential. 

What is your glass ceiling? How are you holding yourself back from your greatest potential? In Hendrick’s book he spells out the four hidden barriers:

Hidden Barrier One: Feeling Fundamentally Flawed: You feel that something is wrong with you.

Hidden Barrier Two: Disloyalty and Abandonment: This is a belief that achieving success essentially means you have to leave your tribe.

Hidden Barrier Three: Believing that More Success Brings a Bigger Burden. This fear will immobilize you because you believe that the life you create will burden others and triggers the emotion of guilt.

Hidden Barrier Four: The Crime of Outshining: You believe that if you become too successful you will make others look bad.

In 2016 when I listened to this book on Audible, I started weeping as I drove down the road and learned about the “crime of outshining.” I had suppressed that 8th grade memory, but I immediately knew I had internalized it. Ever since, I have been working on giving myself permission to shine brightly. I often encourage myself by saying,

“If my light makes them feel uncomfortable, then they just need to put on sunglasses.” 

What barrier is holding you back? Do any of the four listed above resonate with you? What fears do you actively have to overcome? 


Thanks for making it to the end of this blog post! Two options to keep going if you want more:

Looking to get from where you are now to where you want to be? Then I highly recommend downloading the free E-book from my site, “Coach Yourself in 10 Minutes.” Just drop your email below and it will be sent to you.

If you happen to be a working mom, join our community on Facebook

Inspiring Through Imperfection

This quote came across my Instagram stories last week, “You don’t inspire others by being perfect. You inspire them by how you deal with your imperfections.” 

Immediately, I resonated with it at a very deep level. I had never been able to put language to what I was trying to create with this blog and in my coaching business, but this line said it all. If you have followed my content for any length of time, then you know I regularly interweave my mistakes with the lessons that accompanied them. My desire is to teach by walking alongside you, not by standing behind a podium on a platform pretending to have it all figured out. 

So with that said, it’s time to circle back to a post from December, where we discussed the three recommendations to effective goal setting. As a recap, the three principles were: 

  • Don’t set goals, solve problems
  • Focus on the habits
  • Have an abundance of love and grace 

We are now six weeks into the new year, and chances are your goal chart is not trending perfectly up and to the right. Most of you have probably hit some bumps in the road. Let’s talk about those. Since I know most people learn best through stories, we will discuss the bumps through my own personal experiences in the first six weeks of 2021. 

At the beginning of the year I set 9 goals for 2021, but knew I could not tackle them all at once. They needed to be handled a few at a time.

For this year, the spokes that needed to most attention were: 

  • Financial
    • Upgrading from a sedan to a minivan (Also a family spoke goal)
    • Finishing our 6 month emergency fund (we began the year with 2 months)
    • Saving money toward a home upgrade (having 1 bathroom for a family of 4 has its moments 😉 
  • Family 
    • Finishing our home renovations so we can list our house 
    • Capturing more photos and videos of my children (At 2 and 7 their childhood is in its prime and I want to treasure these days) 
  • Health
    • Lose 20 pounds by prioritizing daily exercise and cleaner eating (long list of the reasons why I want to do this. They are all health benefits and quality of life connected. I love my body as she is, and want to take better care of her)
  • Self-Care
    • Prioritize stress management outlets
  • Career
    • Transition to full time coaching 
  • Mental & Spiritual 
    • Prioritize my meditation practice daily

It’s important for me to share my list of goals with you so that the rest of the content makes more sense. 

It’s not wise to tackle all the goals at once. I knew I needed to pick three to focus specifically on for quarter 1 so the rest could fall into place over the course of the year. 

For January, I decided to tackle my morning routine because it’s a foundational habit. It would help the mental, spiritual and physical goals that I set, which I believed would set me up for success everywhere else. 

However, I hit some major roadblocks. Oftentimes, when trying to create new habits, we discover other habits that must first be addressed in order to create the space for the new habit to develop. 

In my attempt to wake up earlier, I needed to go to bed earlier. In my attempt to go to bed earlier, I discovered just how much I had gotten accustomed to doing after the children went to bed. My 2020 routine had been to have the children in bed by 8pm and then I would sleep 11pm-7am. Trying to shift to a 5am wake up call meant a 9pm bedtime. 

I truly thought I could do it on January 1st. However, as the month progressed, I realized that so many other spokes were getting completely neglected. I had created space in that time for my writing, cleaning my house, quality time with my husband and stress decompression. Going to bed earlier, so I could put new things into my morning routine that weren’t already in my life, proved to not be sustainable for me. 

Something had to give, somewhere. 

I already knew my plate was full and at maximum capacity. I told that to people regularly. However, I had convinced myself I could squeeze in some new habits. The truth was, I definitely could not. So what was going to go? Something could no longer fit. 

The middle to end of January looked messy as I powered through deadlines and projects and intentionally let things fall through the cracks while my husband and I discussed a sustainable solution. 

I had to shift the order I planned to accomplish my goals. 

On January 1, the map I made for my year slated my career changes for Q3. I believed I could keep growing this business on the side of a career and make the leap later. Two weeks into the new year I proved I was wrong. 

We re-evaluated the goals and realized that one goal on the list of 9 could be THE catalyst of change in every other area. The career spoke. 

In 2020, my schedule looked like working a full time job for 40-50 hours a week, and then running this blog and coaching business for an average of 10 hours per week. If you go back and reread that list of 9 goals, imagine how much easier they would all be to accomplish if I transitioned into a career that allowed me to add back in 10-20 hours a week to my other spokes AND increased my income significantly. 

I had to pivot. 

I paused my January intentions of mastering my morning routine and set to figure out how to make the transition. And today, as I write this blog, I’m in that messy middle. I am working with the leadership at my dayjob to find a replacement and train her/him while I tie up any loose ends. Simultaneously, I am building a strong foundation for what is to come in the near future. 

As I sit here in mid-February with none of my habits completely successful, I have the power to choose the story I tell myself. I know that I cannot yet check any boxes and declare one accomplished, but I can see that the stage is being set and preparations are underway. 

Have you hit any roadblocks on your journey to accomplish your goals? What solutions are working for you? How are you overcoming the obstacles? 

Do you realize you still have the power to accomplish everything you intended? What can you learn from what DIDN’T work last month? How can you be empowered by that experience instead of discouraged? 

We Only Judge Other for What We Judge Ourselves

We only judge others for what we judge ourselves.

I was first told these words in college. A professor quoted it like it was common knowledge, and yet it hit me like a ton of bricks. I tossed that quote around in my brain to see if it was actually applicable.

At that particular moment in my life, there were two people getting under my skin. One was in a different class of mine and the other attended my church. Just being in their presence would make my skin crawl. They were like nails on a chalkboard.

I paused and thought of these two people, one male and one female. They actually had a lot in common. They had similar physical builds and their personalities were not too different. What did this tell me about myself?

First of all, they were both loud, boisterous and sought attention.

Ouch. Way to look at myself in the mirror. I had spent many years being told I was too much, too loud, too passionate, too excited, too blunt. Too too too too too all the things. I was regularly being told I should “tone it down” in some area of my life or another. And here were these two people, loud and proud for the whole world to see.

Secondly, they were both overweight. This sentence right here is the sole reason I have yet to write this blog post. I feared people judging me for judging them. I feared potential back lash from my honesty. But when I try to rewrite this and find some other way to describe the second trait, it just sounds like words stumbling all over each other.

The reality of the situation was that I had been deeply insecure about my weight since elementary school. I was the largest kid in my class from third through sixth grade. I had insults thrown at me in middle school centered around my weight. And lucky for me, puberty took care of a lot of the weight loss. But it still left me a size 10/12 through high school when all my friends toggled between 0 and 00.

I felt so insecure about my body that I literally told myself the most ridiculous stories in my head about why everything I wanted that I couldn’t have was because of my weight. I blamed the lack of a boyfriend, a D on a biology test, certain people not liking me and so much more on my physical appearance. In retrospect, obviously none if it had absolutely anything to do with the size jeans I owned, but my adolescent brain wasn’t mature enough to see that truth.

So sitting there at 20 years old, judging this girl who sat across the room from me in my communications class, I realized my frustration had nothing to do with her, and everything to do with me. She was mirroring back at me my deepest insecurities.

It was a heavy dose of humble pie.

To this day I am so grateful for those lessons. I wish I could say I have never judged another human since, but we both know that would be straight up lying. At least now I run it through a filter of compassion. I ask myself “what does it say about me that I would look down on him/her?”

In reality, this is probably why in my writing, you will find a trend of the word grace appearing over and over and over again. The more grace we give ourselves, the more compassion we can share with others. The more we acknowledge our own insecurities and find a way to love ourselves through them, or even because of them, the easier it becomes to love others’ imperfections.

After all, we only judge others for what we judge ourselves.

Grace and peace my friends,

Sophia Hyde


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Thanks for making it to the end of this blog post! Two options to keep going if you want more:

Looking to get from where you are now to where you want to be? Then I highly recommend downloading the free E-book from my site, “Coach Yourself in 10 Minutes.” Just drop your email below and it will be sent to you.

If you happen to be a working mom, join our community on Facebook

What to do when you have a miss

Beginning April 7, I released a blog once a week for 42 straight weeks. After over a decade of desiring to be a consistent blogger, I proved to myself I could do it. I made a commitment and saw it through.

And then last week I did not.

It was the first time I missed a post in 43 weeks.

Behind the scenes, I was juggling an intense workload and a massive amount of moving parts in my personal life.

When it got to the point I realized I could not carve out time for my writing, I had an opportunity.

Whenever anything happens we are not expecting, we have an opportunity.
I had 100% full control over the story I attached to that circumstance. The story I chose to attach would affect my emotional response. My emotional response would affect my mood, and my ability to perform at a high level in all the other facets of my life.

In the moment where I realized I had too heavy a load to carry and the blog would have to be the dropped ball, I chose grace for myself.

I chose to tell myself the story of “well done on your 42 week streak. Sometimes life happens. You’ll pick up where you left off next week.”

I choose to tell you this story because chances are, you too have broken a commitment you made to yourself. Something you said you would start doing, continue doing, or maybe stop doing. Considering it’s the first week of February, statistically speaking, many of you have probably already fallen from perfection on your new year goals.

I encourage you to love yourself through the journey of imperfection.

My recommendation is to pause when the unexpected occurs, and take control of the stories you attach. You can choose a story that discourages you and causes you to beat yourself up. It will probably take a jab at your self-confidence and your perseverance.

Or, you can choose a story that empowers you. You can remind yourself of your worth and how you will rebound.

Choose wisely.

How to be More Present

I vividly remember being 8 years old, wading in the small pool of our front yard while my mother sat in a chair. While in the water, my mind drifted to the future. I imagined a day when I was a grown up, a mother myself, and it was Christmas morning. Fear and doubt crept in as I contemplated whether Santa was real.

On one hand, what if Santa is not real and I believed he was. I would neglect to buy presents for my children and they would have nothing on Christmas morning.

On the other hand, what if I bought all the presents and then he turned out to be real and he showed up with everything on top of mine.

I could no longer deal with the uncertainty, and I demanded my mom tell me the truth. Her answer had always been, “it’s whatever you believe in your heart to be true.” But this day was different. The stress of what I would do as a grown up was too much, and I needed to know my plan. I remember insisting that she tell me. Engrained in my long term memory is my mother with very sad eyes shaking her head no and saying we would talk about it later because there were too many younger kids around.

Although I could tell she was disappointed a season of my childhood was gone, I felt reassured and confident. Now I would know what to do….a piece of information that would not come in handy for TWENTY MORE YEARS.

I tell you this story because it’s indicative of my entire life. I cannot help that when left to daydream, my mind naturally wonders to hypothetical scenarios of the future. Constantly. I rarely dwell on the past. I learn from it and move on, but my mind struggles greatly with staying focused on the present moment.

What we have learned is that almost everyone struggles with staying present in the moment. Very few people are able to spend the vast majority of their attention on just the current day’s concerns.

Over the years I have worked diligently to form habits and practices that help me stay present. My daydreaming often robs me of my focus. At this point, I have come to accept that this is how I am wired, and I no longer expect it to ever change. However, if I want to fulfill those dreams my mind creates, it’s imperative I develop skills that help me redirect my attention back to the tasks at hand.

Maybe you can empathize with me and you too are often drifting off into the far future with either hopes or fears. Or maybe you are like millions of others who find their mind wandering to the past. Replaying scenarios that have already occurred and filling your mind with regrets or doubts.

Either way, we can all benefit from learning to be more present in the moment at hand.

We cannot change the past, but we can change the stories we attach to the events that happened.

No matter how bad a past experience may have been, can you find gratitude in it? Even if the only gratitude is for the lessons it taught you, how much stronger it made you, or the empathy it gave you for others?

Regarding the future, since we don’t know what will happen anyway, you can CHOOSE to attach different stories. You can attach stories that involve fear, worry, worse-case-scenarios and failure. Or, you can CHOOSE to have power over your mind and choose to assume the best.

The link below will take you to a PDF I developed for our free 5 day mental fitness group that ran last week. It includes an exercise to help you self-reflect on how much time you are spending in the present moment, and it will give you some ideas to help you develop more habits to keep you centered.

Click here to download the exercise and guide

Grace and Peace,
Sophia Hyde

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