Habit: Intentional 5
The quote “you are a reflection of the five people you spend the most time with” is so true. Last year, I got out a sheet of paper and wrote down five people in my life that I wanted to reflect, then I chose to invest in them with intention.
Self-care is ESSENTIAL to our ability to thrive. Sometimes self-care looks like bubble baths and manicures, but most of the time it looks like prioritizing our time, energy and resources on what matters most and loving ourselves enough to say yes and no in the right places.
2018 was a very, very challenging year for me. I had a difficult pregnancy while still having to care for a 4 year old and work full time with a side gig. My husband was gone (work travel) for most of it and then at 8 weeks old our baby ended up in the hospital for two weeks in ICU. I have a hard time asking for help. There were people who knew that and showed up for me in ways I didn’t know to ask for. Some people who I thought were my “good friends” didn’t make it a priority to be at any of the most important events for me that year.
I realized that life is a mirror and if these people were not showing up for me the way I had expected, then was I showing up for them? Were they just mirroring back to me my own actions?
At the end of the year I got out a sheet of paper and wrote down 5 names and made it a priority to invest in those lives. Because I know I am in a season where there is no window in my life to take a phone call and quality time is my strongest love language, I knew it had to be women local to me that I could weave into my life and create space to be together.
Sometimes it looked like carpooling to the same event. Other times it looked like signing our kids up for the same activities so we would have a buddy to sit next to. Sometimes it was agreeing to attend the same functions but then finding a corner of the room to hide away in and catch up on life. More than once, friends came over after my kids were in bed to watch a Netflix show with me.
It’s funny because I’m probably the most busy I’ve ever been in my life (and I’ve always had a habit of staying very busy) but this year I have had a tremendous amount of fun and deepened my relationships with some pretty amazing women.
The list is so, so, so long of amazing women I am blessed to call friends. I am so grateful for so many women who are in my life. This habit of a list of five is not a flashback to MySpace days and making an exclusive club of your top 5, but rather acknowledging that who you surround yourself with matters. They give you advice, share their experiences, and subconsciously rub off on you. I made the decision to be intentional with who I wanted rubbing off on me.
No matter how “busy” we are, we need relationships. We need fun. We need friendship.
[photo caption: Despite having a very full calendar my sister and I chose to host a “Galentine’s Day” party at my house to be intentional about making time for friendship, laughter and fun just because.]