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The Courage to be Disliked

Recently, I read something in a book that has rocked my world. 

Out of ten people, two will love you, one will dislike you, and seven won’t pay attention to you. Focus on the two that love you, not the ones that dislike you or the seven who don’t care. (Paraphrased idea from a book I read, The Courage to be Disliked by Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishimi.)

This may surprise some of you, but despite my strong and assertive personality, I have always struggled with being liked. 

For example, people unfriending me on Facebook or unsubscribing from my blog or saying negative things about me when I am not around are often given way too much real estate in my mind. 

No one enjoys hearing they are disliked because it feels like a form of rejection. At the heart of being human is a deep desire to feel loved. It takes a concerted effort to become comfortable with hearing over and over again that people don’t like you. Being a bold, outspoken female, I’ve heard it regularly since elementary school.  

Remembering that no matter who I am or what I do, 10% of people will not like me, and seven are never going to care, makes it significantly easier for those comments to roll off my back. 

When my insecurities sneak up on me, I redirect my attention to the twenty percent. 

If I approach every room I walk into, or every post I make on social media, or every email I send out as an attempt to just reach the 2 in 10, life becomes so much easier. 

The other beautiful side of this mindset is that it helps to remove the temptation of focusing on myself. When I have insecure thoughts or take actions (or inactions) out of my fear of what others will think, I am completely and exclusively focused on myself.

However, when I constantly remind myself that my only desire is to serve those 2 in 10, then I can give all my energy and attention to the people I am trying to help. 

May we all learn to release the 10% of people who will never like us no matter what, and to release the 7 in 10 who just see us as another warm body in the room. Instead, may we all double down on serving that 20% who is asking for more of what we offer in the world. 

2 Ways to Make Others Feel Safe

As a coach, I am trained in how to make other people feel safe and comfortable to share openly with me. I cannot help them achieve their goals if they don’t feel safe enough with me to tell me their innermost desires. I cannot help someone break through the mindsets holding them back if they don’t feel comfortable truly telling me what’s on their mind.

However, for most of us, we are interacting with people daily who do not make us feel safe. By safe, I mean comfortable enough to let all of our guards down.

Today, let’s chat about two ways we can make others around us feel more comfortable. The better we are at creating safe spaces for others, the deeper relationships we can develop with one another.

1. Replace Judgement with Curiosity

If before entering the conversation you already believe firmly in a proper outcome to a situation (the choice they should make, what they should believe, how they should respond, etc) you have already placed the barrier.

This will require you to do the inner work of arriving at a place where not everyone needs to make the same decisions as you, or respond to situations the way you would respond. We only judge others for what we judge ourselves for. Therefore, if you have not done the work to release your inner critic against yourself, you will be limited in your capacity to hold back your judgement toward others. Even if you don’t outright criticize them, your body language, your eyes, your tone will say it all.

Focus on developing an insatiable curiosity. Instead of approaching a conversation with trying to influence someone else’s actions or thinking, focus on what you can learn from them. Learn how to ask questions that open up doors and windows to how they arrived at that moment, behavior, or perspective.

2. Listen to Understand

Most people approach conversations by “listening to respond.” The whole time the person is speaking, they are spinning their wheels thinking about what they will say or ask next, instead of being able to fully hear the other person.

A seek to understand mindset approaches a conversation without an agenda. In alignment with curiosity, listening to understand allows us to ask better questions, truly hear what someone is saying, and catch what they are inferring between the lines.

Oftentimes in these conversations, I will respond with “If I am hearing you correctly, you think that X, Y then Z.” I cannot tell you how many times the other person will say “not really” and clarify their statements for me. Despite the fact that I was listening, the message they meant to portray and the one I interpreted were not the same. Repeating back what I heard allows me to truly understand the other person because I am less likely to walk away with a misunderstanding or casting attention on the wrong point. So often, the layer where they get to the heart of their message comes in the clarifications.

Brené Brown, author and research professor of social work at the University of Houston, said it best: “I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”

May we all be intentional at making those around us feel safe enough to be their most authentic selves.

Who exactly hires a life coach?

Who exactly hires a life coach?

Most people do not understand what a life coach does.

The majority of people have never worked with one. And if they have, each individual is as diverse an experience as one restaurant is to another.

So for this week’s blog post, I thought it would be fun to highlight some stories of the type of people I have worked with, and the types of problems I have helped them solve, so you can get an idea.

What I do:

I help people release their favorite version of themselves. Oftentimes, there is a gap between the life we are living today and a version of life we are craving to live. I help people fill the gap using a proven system. Meet some of my clients:

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​Client A: A homeschooling mom who felt regularly stressed and wanted to create better balance in her life.

Client B: A business owner who was burning the candle at both ends. Despite loving her business deeply, something had to change. Her family was getting resentful toward her because it was taking up all of her time.

Client C: After trying dozens of different weight loss plans throughout her lifetime, she wants to find health and love her body using methods she can commit to for the rest of her life. (I’ll give you guys a secret…this has little to do with food and exercise and everything to do with our thoughts.)

Client D: A business owner who wants to thrive more in every area of her life. She wants to expand her net worth to a million dollars while alleviating several stress factors that are inhibiting her ability to create growth.

Client E: A working mom who was miserable. Her marriage, her job and her self-image were all suffering. At the beginning of our relationship she was contemplating if a divorce was the best solution to bringing joy back into her life.

[Side note: I will never advise someone to leave a marriage or stay in a marriage. Not my job. But I will help them find their joy regardless of their partner’s actions and let them discover for themselves what is right for them (obvious exceptions being if I learn of abuse or other circumstances that require a different approach, likely referring them to a different form of support than the work I do).]

Client F: She has a desire to run for political office in ten years, but knows that without some other changes in her life, she will not be ready for such a tremendous investment of time, money and resources. She desires to grow herself, her margin in her life, and hit some key milestones to prepare her for her long term goals.

Client G: As a realtor with two small children, limited childcare assistance, and the main breadwinner for her family, this mom needed some tools to create some peace in her life.

Client H: Single and in her sixties, this business owner is ready to put together a plan for life after the daily grind. With no partner, children or grandchildren, how will she use her precious years to create contribution and have fun?

And this is just a sampling. Do you guys see the variety in each situation? Each life and set of circumstances is so completely different. And yet….did you hear the common thread? They each feel a calling toward creating change in their lives. Positive change. Welcomed change. Freedom to be who deep down they know they really are, but for whatever reason, don’t feel they can truly express right now.

This is the work I do. Every relationship is unique, but the same principles guide the path. I offer a map. You pick the destination and how you want to get there. Then you hop in the car and start driving. I will meet you at the rest areas, gas stations and repair shops along the way.

If you want to hop on a call to do a free strategy session, click here to book a slot. On this call I will walk you through two exercises that will provide you immediate feedback you can use to determine your best next steps. If you decide coaching is the right fit for you, we will easily enroll you and book a second call. If not, consider it my gift to you 🙂

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With gratitude,

Sophia Hyde

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Are You Stayin’ Busy? No.

In the last month I have bumped into five different people while running errands whom I haven’t seen in a long time. Each time they asked, “Ya stayin’ busy?” 

And each time I responded with, “no.” 

It stops the normal flow of conversation, so I will clarify,

“I am no longer interested in living a busy life. I want my life to be filled with the things I choose. And right now that looks like growing my business 25-30 hours a week, spending lots of time on my self-care and with my family.” 

When I operate with a belief system that “I am busy,” then I am more likely to decline the invitations that matter most. I am more likely to skip a workout, decline an invite to have lunch with a friend, or think it’s necessary to stay up late. 

Here’s the funny thing, if I want to feel busy, the invitation is sitting right there for me to reach out and grab the hustle. 

Currently, I am a mom of two small kids with a husband who travels a ton for work. I am running a growing business where I am the sole employee, and I am heavily involved in five non-profits. Not counting my daughter being on the dance team and recently joining Girl Scouts. It would not be hard to return to my busy mindset.

I started accepting the busy mindset in the eighth grade. That’s when I first got addicted to the rush of being in tons of activities, over achieving academically and being at church every time the doors were open. The adrenaline hit from always running from one thing to the next became my life for the next twenty years.

Now that I am solely in control of my time and calendar, I am changing my mind.

We all have the power to change our minds. 

I choose rest over staying up to reply to emails. I just don’t respond. I have literally thousands of unread emails. The most important ones get my attention during the small windows each day I am at a computer.

I choose time with my kids over an extra two hours a day of work. The work just rolls over to the next week.

I choose my morning workout over an extra hour of availability for appointments. They either happen 10:00-3:00 or they don’t happen.

My calendar is full. But it is mostly filled with my self-care and my family. 

Sure, my business could possibly grow faster if I worked more hours. But many studies say the opposite. A study from Stanford University found that productivity decreased when employees worked too many hours. Some of the fastest growing companies (an example linked here) in America have moved to 30 hour work weeks. The more and more we learn about the benefits of a healthy work-life balance and proper self-care, it seems that a 6 hour work day is the most efficient. I am choosing to work a 4-5 hour work day because of the age of my children. 

But it’s all a choice. If I CHOOSE to block my rest, family and self-care first and make everything else fit around it, then the most important things will get done.

Busy is a drug that a lot of people are addicted to, and I am no longer participating. 

Sophia Hyde is a certified life coach. Visit her coaching page to get access to her free mini-course “5-Minute Mental Reset.”

Time Management Tips

I’ve been asked by several different people to please share some tips about time management, so I finally decided to put some of my top tips to paper and publish them today. Here are some powerful ways to reduce stress, overwhelm and clutter in your life:

Step 1: Monday Power Hour

Schedule an hour with yourself every Monday (or Sunday if it works better for you) to plan your week. This is critical to getting everything out of your head, on to paper and keeping your priorities straight. This the MOST IMPORTANT hour and should be guarded and protected. If you skip planning your week, you will spend all your time in reactive mode.

Step 2: Brain Dump

Grab a blank sheet of paper and dump everything out of your mind that is floating around. Everything from important follow up calls, pressure washing the house, designing that presentation. All the things. Personal, family, work…all of it. Get it out of your head and on to paper.
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I like to draw a quadrant and drop the tasks into the different components of my life to make time blocking easier. (Personal, Business Growth, Business Maintenance, and Community/Volunteer work are my four quadrants)

Step 3: Revisit Your Goals

Get out your goals. I encourage writing your goals annually and then breaking them down into quarterly habit changes you’re focused on. Revisit where you are on your annual and quarterly goals to see what needs to be done that week to keep the needle moving forward in the areas most important to you.

This step is so vitally important because if we do not have a structured method for reviewing our goals regularly, then they can easily fall by the waste side and be forgotten. Three months can pass by, and we look up and realize we have made no progress on that thing we said was most important to us in January.

Step 4: Block the Top Priorities

Get out your calendar. Block off the time for your top priorities first. Your rest, health, family time and pleasures should not take take a backseat to your to-do list. The to do list will always be growing and never be complete, so it’s important we don’t let it hold us back from creating the life we want to be living.

Step 5: Weekly Top 3

Once we block out our top priorities, it’s then time to go back to that brain dump of tasks. Pick a top 3 items. Which 3 items are the MOST IMPORTANT to get done this week. If nothing else happens this week to advance your goals, these THREE THINGS must be completed.

Look at your calendar and block off the day and time you are going to do these most important tasks. I try to put these into my Monday and Tuesday windows so that if an interruption or pivot comes, I have time to compensate later in the week.

Step 6: Schedule the Tasks

With your calendar still in front of you, look at the remaining tasks. Estimate how much time each of them will take you and then schedule an appointment with yourself in your calendar for when you will complete these tasks.

If you are like me, then you will discover that there probably isn’t enough time this week to get everything done on the list. Ask yourself, are there things that someone else can do? Can you ask for help or delegate anything? If not, acknowledge that you’re human and you need rest and pleasure so you cannot be productive 24/7.

You then have the option of rolling into the next week or two and scheduling the tasks for the future, or crossing them off the list and simply deciding they will not be done.
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Step 7: Throw Away the To-Do List

Throw away the brain dump of tasks.

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WHAT!?!?!? Yes. I’m serious.

Let your calendar be your guide. It will help you be efficient with your time, not drag things out longer than they need to be, and also recognize just how long something takes to get done. Over time, this habit will help you have a more realistic perspective of which things you can say yes and no to.

Step 8: Daily Top 3

Revisit your planner every single morning. My personal habit I have developed is to sit down with my planner, write my affirmations, write my top 3 goals I’m focusing on, and then pick a Top 3 for that day.

So I have a top three for the week, and a top 3 for the day. One of the items may be as simple as a phone call to schedule a doctor appointment or an email to a client that needs to get sent. However, I know that the day can very easily slip away, and I need to make sure I keep my eye on the top 3 tasks of each day.
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In conclusion,

If you can create the habit of weekly brain dumping and turning all of your tasks into appointments on your calendar, you will be much more efficient with your time and be able to enjoy rest and relaxation in your life.

Sophia Hyde is a certified coach who specializes in helping busy people release their favorite selves. She teaches a 10-week course that accompanies 20-minute coaching sessions to lead people through the process of defining what that looks like in their own lives. If you would like to schedule a complimentary strategy session to see if coaching is right for you, click here. 

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Walking the Tight Rope


Recently I was talking with a couple other coaches about the question, “Is wanting more a good thing?” 

We discussed the tightrope between contentment and aspiration. It is an absolutely beautiful thing to crave more in your life and have a deep, burning desire to create change. At the same time, it’s so imperative that we remain grounded in gratitude. 

So how do you walk this out? How do you feel content and grateful for the life you are living while simultaneously dreaming of something else?

I likened it to a cross country road trip.


It reminded me of a poster that hung in my high school biology teacher’s classroom that said, “happiness is a journey, not a destination.”

I live in Florida. If I were to plan a trip to Portland, Oregon, it would inevitably be beautiful. Despite how excited I am to see the Pacific Northwest, the only way to get there is to take a scenic route through other parts of America. 

I have the option of getting there as quickly as possible, or I can plan to make pit stops along the way at the beautiful cities and landscapes I will encounter on the road trip. 

If I pause to appreciate everything I see along the way, then my time spent in Portland will be accompanied by countless memories and new experiences. I may drive through the middle of America, or I may choose to party in New Orleans, line dance in San Antonio, drive up the California coast and then take detours to visit Yosemite and the redwood trees. 

The journey to get there would have been a greater gift than where I arrived.

Wherever you are on your journey today, remember to pause and appreciate the process. Remember that the goals you are chasing are not only about where you are going, but also about who you become and what you experience along the way. 

Growth is not easy. Obstacles and hurdles and u-turns and setbacks are never fun. However, when you finally arrive at the destination you are pursuing, you will experience the joy of celebrating the end victory and every single milestone along the way.

Happy road tripping friends. Where are you headed?

To join Sophia live for in-depth conversations in Clubhouse, mark your calendars for Tuesdays at 2pm EST. Each week she is joined by Business Coach Chrissanne Long and Mindset Coach Dean Fox. Sophia’s Clubhouse handle is @sophiahyde

Sophia Hyde is a certified coach who specializes in helping busy people release their favorite selves. She teaches a 10-week course that accompanies 20-minute coaching sessions to lead people through the process of defining what that looks like in their own lives. If you would like to schedule a complimentary strategy session to see if coaching is right for you, click here. 

The Power of our Emotions

Our thoughts play a mighty powerful role in our lives. Some of these thoughts we choose to think. Some of these thoughts we do not even realize are optional. They were conditioned into us by society, culture, or words spoken to us in childhood.

If we are not intentional about observing the thoughts we are thinking, then we can accidentally place ourselves on a path we have no desire to be walking. 

In my free mini-course I talk more in depth about this, but one of the most powerful ways we can discover, reflect and change our thoughts is to listen to our emotions. 

Our emotions are so powerful. They are not good or bad. They just are. Some emotions are rewarded and some punished. For example, we often strive to feel happy and punish ourselves for feeling sad or angry. Every emotion we are feeling has so much to teach us and empower us if we just pause enough to listen. 

There is a downloadable free PDF in the mini-course I referred to that makes this all super simple, but for today I want to walk through the questions on there and discuss their value. 

I believe there is TREMENDOUS VALUE in journaling these questions on a regular basis. Whether we are experiencing a high or a low, we can learn so much about ourselves by pausing and asking what made us feel this way? The questions are: 

How am I feeling?

What is causing this feeling?

What is the thought behind this feeling? 

What is factual and what is not factual about this thought?

What can I learn about myself?

Is there a new thought I can create?

Are there any actions I can take?

If you want to see an example of where I did these reflections you can just look in the course materials, but I have a challenge for you today. 

Stop. 

Pause. 

Get out a sheet of paper. 

Read those questions again, but this time journal what comes to mind. 

For real. Try it. Don’t just keep scrolling or chase the next dopamine hit of another notification on your phone. Give yourself this gift. 

If you learned something about yourself, shoot me an email or a DM with your experience. I would love to hear from you.

“You are what you are and you are where you are because of what has gone into your mind. You change what you are and you can change where you are by changing what goes into your mind.” -Zig Ziglar

When Self-Care Doesn’t Look the Same

We hear all about self-care, but too often it’s misconstrued with pampering. Pampering can be self-care, but it is not always.

For example, my husband hates massages because he cannot stand when people touch him. Personally, I do not like the smell of a nail salon, it gives me a headache.

Self-care comes in the form of prioritizing the things that can restore your energy, which looks different for every person. For an introvert, this may look like time alone. For an extrovert, like myself, self-care involves prioritizing time with my friends and community groups.

There was a period in my early motherhood where I thought being a great mom meant focusing only on my business and my family. I resigned from different positions I held and scaled back on all the “extras” in my life so that I could give all my energy where it mattered most.

In retrospect, this was a terrible decision. My husband says it was the hardest period in our 16 year relationship to be married to me.

After about two years of this lifestyle, a friend invited me to attend a community group. I had an amazing time, started plugging in and began meeting new, like-minded people. It was like I came back to life.

I felt re-energized, excited and more myself than I had in years.

So over the next year, I looked for areas of interest in my community where I could plug in and start using my strengths to give and contribute. I felt whole again.

For some people, this would be the opposite of self-care. They are already giving and doing so much that self-care may look like staying home. Or it may look like pouring your energy into an idea you have been wanting to birth. Maybe self-care is learning to say no to spending time with the people who are leaving you feeling drained, and instead finding ways to spend more time around the people who bring you joy.

Don’t get me wrong, my self-care still involves at least a weekly long bath because I love them. I block time for my exercise, taking care of my aesthetic appearance (this could be an entire blog post for another day of what this means to me), and having quiet time at home with my thoughts and my rituals.

To be honest, self-care has really found its way into every single area of my life and dominates my day.

I like to think of self-care as the difference between a colander and a bowl.

If the kitchen sink is running water, a colander is when my self-care is empty and drained. No matter how much I take in, too much is going out. A bowl is where as the self-care comes in, I am able to hold onto so much of it that not only do I feel full, but I am giving in abundance. The sides of the bowl are running over.

When most of my life revolves around the things that give me energy instead of exhaust me, and I am making sure that I feel well-loved and cared for by my own actions, then I have so, so, so much energy to share.

Take care of yourself today friends. Be a bowl.

Much love,

Sophia Hyde

Our Family’s Mental Health Journey

It’s never an easy task to open up a public conversation around your mental health, but it’s even harder when it’s your kid.

Today, I am going to open up some doors and windows to my family’s private journey for a very intentional reason. 

The protagonist in this story is my daughter. I wish she could be authoring this post, but alas, she’s seven. So I am choosing to write about our experiences parenting a child with a mental health obstacle to climb and the journey that brought us tremendous help. I sat down with my daughter and asked her which parts of her story mommy could tell people about and which she doesn’t want shared.

In March, I stumbled across a random account online that was a woman talking about her mental health journey with full vulnerability. She shared her experiences, her symptoms and her solutions. I began to follow the holistic psychiatric clinic she used and the psychiatrists she attributed to helping her. When my husband and I hit the end of our ropes, I knew that if anyone could help our daughter it would be this practice. And they did. 

It’s much easier to talk about this now that the hardest moments are all in the past and are memories. Today she’s in full health. My hope and desire is that someone else who is walking in the pain of uncertainty and helplessness will also be able to find answers because we decided to tell our story. 

I tried my best to format this post in a way that is easiest to read and most helpful to all. I’m using a Q&A format below so you can easily scroll through the parts that you’re curious about: 

What is the mental health issue you were/are facing?

We realized around the age of five that our daughter exhibited many symptoms of childhood anxiety. By age seven we reached a point where the symptoms were elevating and we needed professional help. 

What were/are her symptoms?

Most people in our lives had no idea she wasn’t neurotypical. She is an angel at school, with friends, with family, in social settings. She has always thrived. Her symptoms only ever manifested at home. 

Rather than share her specific symptoms, I am going to post some common symptoms of anxiety because many parents don’t realize that’s what is happening. Many people try to discipline their children’s behaviors or will ignore them rather than realizing it’s anxiety manifesting and they need help. 

For the sake of brevity, I picked a few. For a full description on the seven types of anxiety and the symptoms, here is a link to the page on the clinic’s website. 

  • Frequent feelings of nervousness or anxiety
  • Panic attacks
  • Avoidance of people or places due to a fear of having anxiety or panic attacks
  • Symptoms of heightened muscle tension (headaches, sore muscles, hand tremor)
  • Periods of heart pounding, nausea, or dizziness
  • Tendency to predict the worst
  • Multiple persistent fears or phobias (such as dying or doing something crazy)
  • Conflict avoidance
  • Excessive fear of being judged or scrutinized by others
  • Being easily startled or a tendency to freeze in anxiety-provoking or intense situations
  • Shyness, timidity, and getting easily embarrassed
  • Biting fingernails or picking skin
  • Obsessive-compulsive disorder (stuck on negative thoughts or actions)
  • Phobias (stuck on a fear)
  • Eating disorders (stuck on negative eating behavior)
  • Excessive or senseless worrying
  • Upset when things are out of place or things don’t go the way you planned
  • Tendency to be oppositional or argumentative
  • Tendency to have repetitive negative or anxious thoughts
  • Tendency toward compulsive or addictive behaviors
  • Intense dislike for change
  • Tendency to hold grudges
  • Difficulty seeing options in situations
  • Tendency to hold onto own opinion and not listen to others
  • Needing to have things done a certain way or you become upset
  • Others complain you worry too much
  • Tendency to say “no” without first thinking about the question
  • Persistent physical symptoms (such as headaches, digestive problems, or chronic pain)
  • Restlessness, irritability, or excessive crying

There are many more listed on this site or other reputable sources, but this starts to give you an idea of how it can easily go undetected as a personality trait, bad attitude, etc.

What is the clinic you took her to and what makes them different?

We used the Amen Clinic. They have many locations around the U.S., but the one closest to us is in Atlanta. Their approach is to do specific brain scans on a patient, figure out exactly what’s happening in that brain, and then design a treatment plan to give that brain the support it needs. 

Their treatment plans involve a combination of lifestyle changes, food plans, exercise, and prescriptions. Every situation is different. I highly recommend reading through their website to understand more about what they do. 

What did the brain scans reveal?

The brain scans were amazing. They gave us so many answers that I just sat on the couch and cried as I finally got a glimpse of what was happening in her mind. Everything made sense in one moment. We were able to see that the reason she was struggling almost exclusively at night is because her brain is in hyper activity in certain centers all day long, so by the end of the day her brain was exhausted. It was giving out before the rest of her body. 

When we saw the specific areas of the brain that were overactive, and the list of behaviors that may manifest when those centers are out of balance, they DIRECTLY correlated with the experiences we were having. 


In summary, the scans revealed that she needed help balancing a couple centers, and that her brain doesn’t rest well throughout the day.

What was the treatment plan?

The Amen Clinic works with every patient to put them on a completely different plan, so our experience will not be the same as others. In our case, they prescribed the following:

  • The elimination diet to discover what foods, if any, may be causing inflammation
  • A list of very specific supplements that target the specific centers she needed balancing 
  • 30 min daily exercise
  • Daily breathwork exercises
  • Blood work
  • Specific food schedule (We may laugh about getting “hangry,” but it’s a thing. Hunger can cause behavioral changes)

Elimination diet? What’s that? And did you find out anything?

The elimination diet is where you remove the most common allergens for an extended period of time and then reintroduce them slowly to see if symptoms arise. We put her on a crazy strict diet in June that was a lot of work, but worth it. In July, as we reincorporated foods back in we discovered that food dyes, high fructose corn syrup and gluten triggered her symptoms. 

Isn’t gluten, food dyes and high fructose corn syrup in everything?!?!? 

Yep. Pretty much. 

But it’s not as hard as you think. Grocery stores have come a long way in the last 10 years. We can find alternatives for almost anything.

However, it requires intentional planning. We went to our first kid birthday party last week and packed our own gluten free pizza, snacks and desserts. She’s been a real trooper and so brave.

I am so proud of how well she is handling this new lifestyle. We pack her lunch and snacks for school as well. We’ve basically eliminated other people feeding her. It requires a lot of pre-planning on our end, but it’s worth it.

Have you noticed a difference? 

OH MY GOSH YES!!!!!! It’s been 8 weeks since her last meltdown!!! You don’t understand. We were having these a couple times a week. I referred to them as panic attacks before when I didn’t know what else to call them. Maybe they were, maybe they weren’t. I’m not a psychologist. But I do know that she would have a 15-30 minute episode where she didn’t have control over her mind. And we haven’t had one in two months. That alone makes all of this worth it. 


We also don’t have any of the whining and resistance that were nails on a chalkboard for us daily before. She is pretty happy, chill and compliant. She’s a normal seven year old so tries to test her boundaries when we tell her to clean her room or do her chores, but it’s age appropriate responses now.  

So is it “fixed”? 

Mental health is a fluid, ongoing experience. We all need to be monitoring and managing our mental health. The more we understand about how our brains work, the better we can take care of ourselves.


Currently, eliminating the foods that cause her inflammation and taking a very specific combination of vitamins and supplements are keeping almost all the symptoms at bay. The beauty is now that she understands what’s happening in her brain, she has language to tell us what’s going on. And vice versa, now that we know what’s happening, we can help her better regulate her needs. 

I’m really interested in this conversation and want to learn more about this topic and other mental health issues, how can I learn more? 

The website is a wealth of knowledge, but the most fascinating part to me is looking at the images of the brain scans they do! You can actually see what things like ADD, depression, PTSD, trauma or so many more things look like in the brain. I initially found the clinic and Dr. Amen on Instagram and absolutely loved their posts and videos before I finally went to their website to understand more. Their content on mental health is great, so I highly recommend following them. Click to follow Amen Clinics. Click to follow Dr. Amen. 

P.S. Just so you know, I am only blogging this because I want to. The clinic has helped our family so much that I wanted to share our story. This is not a sponsored post or partnership of any kind. Just a mom sharing my experience. 

If you have any other questions, drop them in the comments. I will answer them if I can. 

Are you too much?

Have you ever been told you are too much of something? 

I’ve been told this my entire life. 

You are too loud. Too talkative. Too bossy. Too bold. Too smart. Too honest. Too intimidating. Too committed. Too energetic. Too passionate. Too serious. Too busy. 

I was a lot of too many things. 

I don’t recall any insecurities prior to around the eighth grade. That was really the turning point when my “too muchness” started costing me opportunities and relationships. Prior to that, my parents had managed to prop me up with an incredible amount of confidence. 

When I was the fattest kid in my class in the fifth grade and someone didn’t like me, my mother told me it was because I was too pretty and they were jealous of me. Part of me knew it sounded ludicrous, but part of me also thought there was a chance it could be true, so I just kept on strutting along. 

As middle school, high school, and entering the workforce as a strong female will do, comments wore me down. Rarely were they one thing said by one person. It was the subtle messaging here and there. It was much more comparable to trimming with a nail file rather than a fingernail clipper. Bit my bit, my spirit was worn down by believing a story that if I were to be successful, I needed to conform to the energy in the room. 

Have you heard the reference, “when you stay silent to keep the peace, you start a war within yourself.” That was me.

I spent much of my twenties at war with myself. I was in a constant battle of trying to figure out what the world wanted from me, how I truly wanted to show up, and what relationships I was willing to lose if my brightness was too blinding. 

There are two catalyst moments that occurred closely together that allowed me to see just how far I had allowed myself to shrink.

One was driving down the road listening to the audiobook version of The Big Leap. (I wrote about the principles from that book in this post). Tears streamed down my face so uncontrollably I had to pull over to safely drive. When I learned what the “fear of outshining” was, I realized exactly why I had stepped back from the A+ version of myself, to preferring a B or second place in absolutely everything I did. God forbid I make someone around me feel uncomfortable. 

The second moment was a conversation on the couch with my husband. As calm and reserved of a man he is, when I said, “I just have to keep this part of myself hidden because it’s not worth the disruption,” he literally exploded. I have never seen him that angry, to this day. He was furious that I would settle for hiding myself from the world to maintain a balance of relationship that wasn’t serving me. 

Shortly after, I started showing up more as myself. I pinned to my bathroom mirror the quote from Brene Brown, “Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” It is still there today.

As I showed up in rooms, spaces, and online as my authentic self, people became uncomfortable. I wasn’t wrong in my assumption.

Online, I’ve been unfriended and unfollowed. 

In real life, I’ve watched people distance themselves from me. I’ve noticed the invitations that didn’t come my way anymore. Once, I even watched from a buffet line as someone started to sit at my table and then go find a new seat when they realized that was my purse. 

But do you know what else has happened?

Like a magnet, new people have come into my life. I have added some incredible friendships to my world.

For every one of the people I’ve lost, I’ve gained people who beam with excitement when I walk in a room because they’ve been waiting to tell me something. I have people sliding into my DMs and messenger who feel like I’m one of the only safe spaces for them to discuss something. And I have people hiring me as their coach because they know I am someone who can be trusted. 

Although those are great benefits, they pale in comparison to the peace that comes from knowing I am right where I belong. There is a joy unspeakable that occurs when we are living in our integrity. When we decide to love our story, love our past, love our strengths, embrace our weaknesses and thrive anyway…it’s priceless. 

I am raising a daughter. Since she was born I have guarded her from conformity. Every comment she brings home with how things “should” be, I override with choice. I allow her to show up as her full self. I find another room to step in to laugh when I find it hysterical. Like today, she proudly left for her third day of second grade wearing sparkling Minnie Mouse ears and felt gorgeous. 

I will spend the rest of my life guarding spaces for people to show up without judgement from me. I will make sure that all the people who have been handed a story of being “too much” for this world in one way or another will know they are safe to let their guards down when they are around me. 

May you always be too much of yourself.

———

Sophia Hyde is a certified coach who specializes in helping busy people release their favorite selves. She teaches a 10-week course that accompanies 20-minute coaching sessions to lead people through the process of defining what that looks like in their own lives. If you would like to schedule a complimentary strategy session to see if coaching is right for you, click here.