Category: Stress Management

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How to Manage Your Stress

Over 50% of my audience is in the Tampa Bay area, which means, many are dealing with the impending storm today.

If you are not affected by the storm, chances are also high that you could be experiencing some stress in your own life. Whether it’s related to work, relationships or another area, many of us are navigating this emotion on a regular basis.

The best book I have ever read on stress management is Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycleby sisters Emily and Amelia Nagoski.

In their book, they talk about the six ways to move stress through the body. They also talk about the consequences if you do not.

If you do not proactively manage your stress, it will store in your body.

Which means, you don’t get the option. It’s not a choice.

Either, you proactively manage your stress as you are freshly experiencing it in your body, OR, your body holds onto it, stores it up, and waits until it can’t handle it anymore and will shut down. The shutting down looks different for every person, but the fact that it’s inevitable is true for us all.

Through their research, they presented six ways that you can move stress through your body. On a regular basis, I walk my clients through these six options to help them figure out their best next step.

  • Option 1: Move
    • This is personally my go-to. Move your body. Physically let the stress energy work its way out. This can look like going on a walk, dancing, hitting the gym. There is no right or wrong way to move. Just keep moving until you feel the stress working it’s way out of you physically
  • Option 2: A big ol’ cry
    • There is zero shame in crying. Let it all out. Whether it’s a short cry or a long cry, doesn’t matter. It’s an excellent release for your body
  • Option 3: Deep Breaths
    • Take a few minutes to sit and breathe. Box breathing is a great and simple option. Inhale for the count of four, hold it for the count of four, exhale for the count of four and then hold it again before you repeat the steps. Five minutes of this exercise can significantly calm your nervous system
  • Option 4: Create
    • Whether you like to write, draw, paint, sing, play music, sculpt, journal, it doesn’t matter. Pick any form of art and start creating. It can release the stored up stress by providing an outlet for it to move through your body
  • Option 5: Laugh
    • Put on your favorite comedy or grab a friend and find a way to belly laugh. That deep, genuine laughter is not just good for your soul, it’s good for your body too.
  • Option 6: Hug
    • Embrace someone who makes you feel safe and loved. If you hug each other for one minute, with both of you firmly planting your feet on the ground, you will feel a physical release. Yes. One entire minute.
    • Over the last two years, I have done this several times with my husband and it’s amazing how quickly I can move from restless and overwhelmed to calm and neutral.

Pick whichever one feels right to you. It doesn’t matter.

Here’s the most important takeaway:

DO NOT IGNORE THE STRESS.

Do not distract yourself from it or try to just power through.

It. Will. Catch. Up. With. You.​

To my Floridian friends, stay safe.

This too shall pass like all the others have as well.

The delayed deadlines, interrupted projects, and inconveniences are not as important as the health and safety of you and your loved ones. Give yourself some grace and keep going.

Much love,

Sophia Hyde

P.S. Managing thoughts and feelings is a huge part of my work. If you are tired and exhausted of feeling a certain way, reach out to me. Whether it’s stress, overwhelm, exhaustion, confusion, frustration or a hundred other emotions, this is what I do. My work is to help you move through these emotions into the peace, clarity, fulfillment, joy, pleasure and other ways you wish you were feeling more. Schedule a call here if you want to talk more about what’s going on. 

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Keeping the House Clean and Alleviating Mental Load

I have found the simplest solution to keeping my house cleaner, alleviating mental load and stress from my plate, and getting out the door easier.

As I shared last week, recently our family had a lot of changes that led to overwhelm, decision fatigue and a heavier mental load for me to carry. I knew this wasn’t sustainable, so I had to find some solutions to lighten my load. 

I ran an experiment for the last two weeks that has proven to be wildly successful.

I created a list for everyone in the family for their daily rituals that stays on the fridge. Anything that needs to be done daily in the house is written down, visible for all to see. 

Initially I wrote it all down because it was too much for me to carry in my mind. I was regularly forgetting small details. I needed a list to reference to keep me on task in the mornings and evenings.

What I discovered was that by getting it out of my head and onto paper for everyone to see, the whole family was empowered to step up. 

Every time my daughter would ask, “Mom, can I play yet?” I could just say “You tell me. Check your list.” 

Previously, I would have started drilling through the questions, ”Have you brushed your teeth? Did you pack your bag? Have you filled your water bottle?” Etc. 

This solution has also helped alleviate the confusion of my husband’s role. His work schedule is all over the place. About half the time he is here to help, and half the time he’s not. Therefore, he was always looking to me with those same questions, “How can I help? What else needs to be done?” 

By making these lists, I am not only keeping myself more organized, but I alleviated stress. There is less on my plate, my house is staying so much cleaner, and we are getting out the door earlier. 

I am also going to bed every night with a clean house. Never in my entire adulthood have I been able to manage keeping my house clean daily. 

Consistent daily habits is where it is all at, my friends.

Your family’s daily rituals will look different, but I have posted mine here for inspiration. 

If you decide to run this experiment too, please post and tag me in your lists. I would absolutely love to see your rituals and hear if it works for you! 

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Let’s Talk about Overwhelm

Last week when I was listening to Glennon Doyle’s recent podcast on overwhelm, I found myself with tears running down my cheeks while putting away laundry. She pierced my soul in all the places that I know so many women can resonate. 

Decision fatigue and mental load are very real, and they overwhelm women at a disproportionate ratio to men. 

Over the last few years I have done extremely well simplifying my life, so there are very few mundane decisions to make on a daily basis. However, a month ago, it felt like the rug was wiped out from underneath me, and I was drowning in overwhelm. I want to spend more time talking about how we manage this than writing a novel about all the shit that hit the fan at the same time, so here’s the brief summary: 

In a four week period of time I had two out of town trips with small children (note, these are not vacations. Traveling with children requires more demands than staying home, parents…feel me on this one). One of those trips was for my seven year old to undergo some intense brain scans at the Amen Clinic. Following that, they placed her on five new supplements to take three times a day (all of which she hates the taste of), placed her on the elimination diet and eliminated about 20 things she can’t have in her diet for a month, and prescribed daily breathing exercises and 30 minutes of daily exercise. All of this while my husband, who normally does all of our grocery shopping, cooking and a majority of the chores, took on several temporary large work projects and was working 80 hours a week, unable to help me with anything around the house or the kids. As if that wasn’t enough to make me feel stressed, we were thrown two stomach viruses, a UTI, the Hand, Foot and Mouth virus, swimmers ear and both pets needed vet ER visits. At one point I went to an urgent care clinic 4 times in 8 days, each for a different human/pet.  

A week into the start of this, as I could feel the pressure rising, I decided I couldn’t produce content for a hot minute. I didn’t know how long the season would last, but the brain power it requires was too much. After 18 straight months of producing a weekly blog, I had to press pause. 

It felt like one of those movie scenes where someone walks into the room with a large map in their hand. They walk over to the desk, use one arm to push everything off the surface in one fail swoop and then drop the map on the table and demand, “Here. This is where we are going. Let’s determine the path.”

On that seven hour drive home from Atlanta at the beginning of June, when I was processing all that had to be managed (and didn’t even know the additional bombs that would be dropped), I made the decision that all I could handle for a quick season would be showing up for the clients who have already booked me, and making sure that each day myself and the two kids were taken care of and the house stayed relatively clean. 

This week, on Monday, I finally came up for air when, for the first time in 4 weeks, both children were dropped off to child care, and Brandon was home. I came back to a quiet house and for the first time since the middle of May I was able to ask “what does my business need from me today?”  

I decided to delve into the weeds with you this week because I know you have all felt this before, and I am here to tell you this: 

It’s okay to drop a ball. 

In case you need to hear it in different words: if you need to neglect something in your life for a hot minute to take care of an urgent priority, you can. 

I once heard a working mom on a podcast say, “Balance looks like a juggling act where I am always figuring out which balls I can drop now and pick up later. The thing I am always trying to watch for is that I don’t let a glass ball fall.” 

I know that people love to look at moms and say we are “superwoman,” but can I just say the opposite? What if we actually aren’t? What if we just own our humanity and our limitations and stop believing that we have to achieve perfection in every category. 

As I mentioned at the beginning, decision fatigue is real. Mental load is real. We can only process so much information in one day. 

Sometimes a work project may dominate all we had to give that day, so we just order pizza and tell the kids they can skip bath and sleep in their clothes as long as they brush their teeth before they get in bed. Yes. I’ve done that. Many times. 

Sometimes it looks like running from one commitment to the next for so many days in a row that the house looks like a tornado came through and it takes you two weeks before you finally have a chance to put everything back in order. 

Sometimes it looks like admitting you need help. Maybe you are in a financial position to hire the help and you can pay someone to take over the laundry, come clean weekly and/or prepare all your meals for you. Maybe you aren’t and you have to admit you’re at the end of your rope and ask someone to just take the kids for a chunk of hours because you need time alone at the house. 

Letting a ball drop is part of the process. 

Obviously there was a little voice on my shoulder saying things like “you can’t afford to stop producing content. That’s how you grow your business. You won’t attract any new followers or clients if you aren’t putting yourself out there.”

But I chose to ignore her. I listened to the voice that said,

“Or maybe it’s really important for you to go dark right now. Actions speak louder than words and you need to practice what you preach. You can’t preach priorities, rest and self-care if you don’t insert your own boundaries when you need to.”

I would have been no good to my children or my clients if I was over-extended. I chose to let something go so I could maintain high levels of energy and a clear mindset. 

I’m not gonna lie…it was hard. I had flashbacks to 2015 when I tried staying home and being the predominant caretaker. My husband told me it was the hardest period of our marriage to be around me. I am a fish out of water spending all day cooking meals and cleaning the mountain of dishes from the cooking and starting over, but I chose to choose joy. I chose to make it an act of love, and I CONSTANTLY reminded myself that it was temporary. 

As I write this post, Brandon is currently folding a week’s worth of laundry. He’s back, and the children have returned to full time daycare. All the humans and pets are healthy again. It feels good to be back. 


*Side note, I am deeply aware that many women do not have a husband that carries half the load, nor can take step backwards in business knowing their spouse can pick up the income needs. If you are a single mother trying to wear every hat and may not have a strong support system around you, please don’t get trapped in comparison. Each of our paths are unique. The message I would hope that would resonate with you would be that if you have that many more balls to juggle, then give yourself more grace when the balls fall, because they will. You are allowed to be human, not superwoman. 

Sophia Hyde is a certified life coach who helps individuals accomplish their goals by identifying behaviors and mindsets that need to change, releasing guilt, and stepping into their potential. If you would like help achieving your goals and getting “unstuck” click here to schedule a free strategy session with Sophia and discover if coaching may be a good fit for you.

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Dear World…I Give Up

Dear World,

I give up. I give up trying to please you. You are absolutely impossible. You are full of contradictions and hypocrisies. I refuse to let you get under my skin anymore.

I refuse to be yelled at anymore for following my convictions.

I refuse to be belittled because I made a choice different than the one you wanted me to choose.

I will turn you off when you start making me feel like less of a woman, less of a mother, less of a human because I don’t see the world through your lens.

You see, as women, and especially mothers, we have been given so many mixed messages and contradictions that I cannot even keep up with them anymore.

Don’t let your kid have too much sugar, but also never deprive them of an opportunity to “just be a kid” so I will make you feel guilty every time you decline the free sugar being thrown in their face everywhere you go.

Here are 1,000,000 ways to lose the weight and get into shape immediately but also love yourself just as you are and you don’t need to listen to what society says about your body…except for that here’s all the health risks for not having an exercise and food plan that is on point…but YOLO so eat the tiramisu.

Post all the pics of your kids. We love them so much. It makes the world brighter. Don’t post any pics of your kids, you’re invading their privacy and subjecting them to the risk of being on a porn site.

You’re a horrible human if you don’t follow the CDC schedule for vaccinations for a baby but also, here’s all the potential side effects and risks that inherently come with injecting something foreign into your small child.

Do whatever it takes to get your child into the most affluent school you can afford, or the best public school that you can afford the real estate to get into the district. But oh, all the parents abandoning neighborhood schools are ruining the public education system and causing education inequality.

Never let your child out of your sight but don’t be a psychotic helicopter parent.

Here is every book, podcast, Pinterest board, magazine and documentary on how to organize your house and keep it clean, but also don’t be OCD and stressed out over a messy house.

Dear society, you told me to aim for the sky and dream of being whatever I wanted when I grew up and aspire to climb the highest mountains. Then you shamed me when I wanted to follow those aspirations and be a mother too. I was apparently supposed to sacrifice all of that to be a “good mom.” And you shamed my friends when they decided they were so dedicated to those dreams they didn’t want to be a wife or a mother. So which is it?

2020, I can’t with you anymore.

You want me to stand up for what is right except when it isn’t want you want to hear. Apparently that doesn’t apply when we have a difference of opinion on what “right” looks like, or more realistically, how to get there.

So I’ve decided…I dissent.

I will beat to my own drum. I will live a life that requires no one’s approval. I will begin each day in my quiet meditation with my God. I will discuss my decisions with my partner because my choices affect his life. But everyone else is optional.

I don’t care if my presence makes you feel uncomfortable.

I don’t care if what you thought was best for your kid is different than what I thought was best for mine.

I don’t care if my clothes choices aren’t in style right now. I literally could not care less what Instagram influencers are wearing in their feeds.

I don’t owe you any explanations.

To all my female friends, may you find the strength to mute the voices.

May you step into your greatness, without needing anyone’s approval.

May you find the joy and the peace that comes from showing up in this world with full authenticity.  

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson



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How to Reduce Your Stress During Election Season

Election years are always challenging on social media. We feel bombarded with information we didn’t ask to receive and often times it can ignite anger, frustration, sadness or other emotions.
 
One of the spokes on the Wheel of Life is the mental spoke, and I think I would be doing my readers a disservice if I didn’t start a conversation about how we will make it through the rest of 2020. The mental strain of the pandemic, the racial and social justice movement, and the election are taking a toll on our collective mental and physical health.
 
Recently I was listening to an interview with a neuroscientist who was talking about this very issue in our nation. Several of the points he made were so powerful that I couldn’t resist sharing them with you. Here are just a handful of points he shared*:
 

  • The brain takes up a small percentage of the body’s weight and mass, but it disproportionately consumes energy. Just to get through a standard day with no challenges, the brain consumes 20% of our calories. On a particularly mentally straining day, it can consume as much as 40% of our energy.

  • The brain gravitates towards patterns. It cannot equally process all the information coming at it in every moment, so we survive by compartmentalizing. This causes us to rely on labels, stereotypes and assumptions to categorize information. Unfortunately, it will lead to us believing perceptions as facts.

  • When we come across information that we love, something that reiterates our belief system, the brain releases “happy hormones” like serotonin or dopamine. They give us a quick win and that feeling will last in the body for 5-10 minutes

  • When we come across information that angers us and makes us feel powerless to do anything about it, the brain releases cortisol. This is our “fight or flight” taking over. Cortisol is the stress hormone, and is released into our blood stream and will linger there for 3-4 hours.

  • The cortisol becomes particularly concerning when we consider how much time is spent on social media and the evening news. It’s possible to continuously receive “stressful” information over and over again throughout the day before the body has even stabilized from the last “hit.”

  • There are two main physical concerns with this ongoing release of cortisol in the body. First, it can lead to cardio vascular issues. (Think people who have a stress-induced heart attack). Second, over a prolonged period of time this will degrade the synaptic connections in the brain. The doctor then humorously said, “so basically it makes you physically unhealthy and stupid at the same time.”

So what do we do with this information? He had two recommendations:

  • Maintain a state of curiosity. The brain’s tendency to create patterns and labels creates problems not only in politics but in our ability to have healthy communities. By choosing to respond to a new piece of information with a desire to understand someone else’s perspective, we can grow.

  • You need to make sure you are giving your body a healthy break. Plan large chunks of time in your day where you are not exposed to the news or social media. One simple word can be enough to trigger your brain to release cortisol if you have a strong emotional reaction when you hear that word or phrase.

By sharing this information with you, please do not think I have mastered it. My personal opinion is that the good of social media outweighs the bad, but it still requires a unique discipline to navigate through it. I also personally value staying informed about local, state and national politics so I cannot unplug entirely from information.

I am sharing this with you because I believe it’s important that we try. As Tom Ziglar said, and I often requote, “the fastest way to success is to replace bad habits with good habits.”

I am fully aware that I need more boundaries around my intake of information, and I am working on them. The two positive changes that I made years ago that helped me tremendously were:

  • I do not watch any news stations. I consume all my information through written word. The articles tend to have less “drama” added to them (outside of the headlines) because they are competing for clicks, verses news stations that need to keep viewers glued to the screen. In addition, TV media need to keep their stories short and sweet. Online articles can fill the text with more information and hyperlinks to more resources. This helps me get a clearer picture of the full story than TV.

  • I unfollow people on social media who trigger me into stress. I enjoy having connections to people with a variety of political opinions, but there are certain things that cause me stress. I didn’t realize it was a cortisol release, but I did recognize I didn’t like the way it made me feel and the feeling lingered. Personally, my triggers are memes that haven’t been fact checked, screaming at “the other side” like they’re stupid, and posting daily (or more often) about your viewpoint. These things cause me to get all worked up, so anyone who triggers me gets unfollowed because social media for me is something I do for fun, not to induce stress.


There has never been a more important time to evaluate our habits around receiving information. For our physical and mental health, we have no choice but to address our habits and boundaries around receiving information during this very volatile time in our society.

*I paraphrased his information for the purpose of this blog post. The interview I was referring to can be found on the Independent Voter Podcast from July 15 titled Paul Meshanko and the Neuroscience Behind Political Behavior

Thanks for making it to the end of this blog post! Two options to keep going if you want more:

Looking to create more peace in your life? Then I highly recommend downloading the free E-book from my site, Create Peace. Just drop your email below and it will be sent to you.

If you enjoy reading these posts, then drop your email into the box at the footer of the website and you will get an email from me each Wednesday with a new post.

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15 Self-Care Practices that are Essential for Working Moms

The personal spoke on the wheel of life is so important, yet is one of the most neglected for working moms. It’s so easy to lose ourselves in the needs of those around us. We give our best to our careers, make sure our children are fed, clothed, staying alive and then try to be a good partner. It can be utterly exhausting.

At what point are we supposed to take care of ourselves? Do you end most days feeling like the to-do list of demands is much longer than the hours in the day?

Well sister, I’m here to tell you, it’s not optional.

You cannot keep neglecting yourself. It will end up catching up to you in ways that are not pretty. Personally, when I have neglected my self-care, I’ve seen my body shut down, my ability to focus on any task deplete, my relationships get rocky and frankly, my attitude go down the drain. I can become quite cranky when I’m running on empty fumes.

How do you feel when your needs are neglected? Do you feel weak? Do you feel exhausted? Do you feel empty?

In contrast, how do you feel when all your needs are being met? Do you feel stable? Do you feel strong? Do you feel fulfilled?

Now, imagine caring for those around you from each of these places. When you are stable, strong and fulfilled, it’s rewarding to support others, provide for their needs and give. You’re able to give your best both at work and at home.

When you are already weak, exhausted and empty, trying to care for others is a burden you can hardly bare.

Stop what you’re doing right now and say out loud “It’s important that I take care of my needs first.”

How did that feel? Even now, when I say it, it feels uncomfortable.

Our culture has taught us that beliefs like this are selfish. There’s a lot our culture has gotten wrong, and this is one of them. This is the old airplane analogy. You have to put on your mask before you can help someone else with theirs.

The words “self-care” can often be associated with pampering, “me” time or other luxuries. While those things are nice, and they are self-care, there are several areas of self-care that are crucial to our well-being. I’ve compiled a list of 15 essential self-care practices:

  1. Setting boundaries around your time, energy and resources 
  2. Paying for professional help with a therapist, counselor or coach
  3. Staying home if you need to be alone 
  4. Making plans with friends if you need to be around others 
  5. Investing time with people who mirror back love
  6. Allowing yourself to grow apart from people who do not appreciate your worth or are toxic in your life
  7. Healing from your past 
  8. Extending grace to yourself for your mistakes 
  9. Sharing the stories that bring you shame with someone who is a safe space 
  10. Focusing on something that brings you hope 
  11. Finding a form of exercise you ENJOY doing
  12. Giving yourself permission to rest without attaching the word lazy to it
  13. Trusting your intuition 
  14. Taking a break from social media and/or the news
  15. Unfollowing accounts on your newsfeed that bring negativity into your spirit

These are just the tip of the iceberg in self-care practices, but they are a great place to start. When you read this list, was there one that jumped off the page to you? If so, drop a note in the comments and let me know. I’d love to hear what may have resonated with you.

Thanks for making it to the end of this blog post! Two options to keep going if you want more:

Looking to create more peace in your life? Then I highly recommend downloading the free E-book from my site, Create Peace. Just drop your email below and it will be sent to you.

If you enjoy reading these posts, then drop your email into the box at the footer of the website and you will get an email from me each Wednesday with a new post.