Category: Coaching Tips

One common denominator found in almost every great leader is they are investing in a coach. Whether that’s a business coach, life coach, or one of the hundreds of differentiations that exist, the bottom line is they are hiring someone to help them get better in an area of their lives.

It makes sense right? You aren’t surprised when a professional athlete has several coaches. There are team coaches, nutrition coaches, fitness coaches, and a host of support systems surrounding the players. They thrive at the elite level because they know they need support. No one expects them to know everything.

So why on earth do we beat ourselves up when we don’t know everything about how to manage our lives? What if we didn’t always have to learn from our mistakes, but could avoid many by using tools and resources we didn’t know existed?

The best leaders in companies around the world invest in coaching for many reasons, but here are a few:

1. They want more

They are dissatisfied with the status quo. They want to live beyond what has been normalized and create a better life

2. It’s a safe and collaborative safe

Sometimes you just need someone you can trust to bounce ideas off of. You will create better results if you are sharing your challenges with someone who specializes helping you overcome

3. It’s a dedicated space to step out of living reactively

Most of our days are spent reacting to what is happening around us. Whether it’s children, people on our team, clients, friends, or current events, much of our day is spent responding to the circumstances around us. Coaching provides a window of time to mentally step out of the weeds to envision more for yourself. It allows you to think proactively, not reactively, so you can realign your decisions based around the bigger picture

4. Different Perspectives

A picture cannot see its own frame. We cannot see how we are boxing ourselves in, so it’s important to get another perspective.

Our own thoughts are often the most limiting factor in our lives. We like to think it’s circumstances and situations, but most of us are holding ourselves back by the stories we tell ourselves. Having someone else to look at your thoughts and help you discover what may not be true, or what could be a missed opportunity, can change everything.

5. Develop a Strong Mindset

Over and over again, I hear of how clients have taken the concepts we worked on in one area of their lives and applied it everywhere else. You may start coaching to become more successful or productive at work, but the changes that help you improve there, often also make you a better friend, partner, parent, sibling, etc. You’ve probably heard the saying “The way you do one thing is the way you do everything.” When we improve our mindset, we improve every single area of our lives. ​
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Personally, most of my greatest shifts in life have come on the other side of an incredible coaching call. It’s what motivated me to get into this line of work.

I have been working this year with a phenomenal leader. She came to me because she felt like she was always at the bottom of her priority list, running around with her hair on fire, and needing to create a better work-life balance.

Most of our calls have centered around the pain points of leading a team of over 70 employees and the temptation to always work way too many hours each week. However, in just a few months, she has also noticed an improvement in how she is showing up at home, in her friendships and with herself.

As she learns to become a better leader than she already is, the greatest benefit has been the improvement in how she leads herself. She is re-thinking every environment she’s walking into.

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If you would like to live beyond the status quo, have safe conversations, live proactively, get a different perspective and strengthen your mindset, schedule a time to chat with Sophia.

Hey Faves,

On Saturday I officially uploaded Chapter 1 to my editor for my book that will come out later this year. This is an excerpt from that chapter that has been on my mind a lot lately.

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“I’ve often heard it said that there is no such thing as stagnant. You are either growing, or you are dying. This saying comes from watching nature. Everything is always in motion. Nothing can ever just stay the same.

However, I would like to change the saying to

We are always growing AND dying.

Part of the growth process is being willing to release what is no longer working. The muscle of learning how to let go is a hard one to build. It’s painful, but necessary, to prune. Our own bodies are always shedding dead skin cells and creating new ones.”

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On my birthday last year (November), a friend who has known me since I was 14 texted me happy birthday and also added in a note about how she admires that I have always been in a constant state of change for over 20 years. She commented that she has never met someone else who has worked so intentional for so long at their growth.

That observation has stuck with me. Maybe it’s because of the insatiable curiosity I have had since I was a child or the goal driven side of me that has always been hungry for more, but she’s right. I have been insistent on learning and growing for as long as I can remember.

With that comes a painful toll. Because along the way, I’ve had to let part of myself die.

“You’ve changed,” said a friend to me recently. I smiled and said “Yes. Yes, I have.”

It was so brave of this friend to talk to me about it, and I appreciated the conversation immensely. She wasn’t wrong. She observed that there were so many things she didn’t recognize anymore in my choices. From the perspective of what she could see, it appeared as though I may be making choices that didn’t align with the same friend she has known for so long.

She wasn’t wrong. And yet, that doesn’t mean it was a bad thing. Her comment opened up a beautiful conversation about why I was making the different choices, and what motivations were driving them. The more I was able to elaborate on what was happening beneath the surface, the more she was able to recognize that it was still the same me, I just showed up differently.

I live in an agricultural community that is known for growing strawberries. If you’ve never see one grow, they’re beautiful. They start as a white flower, with a yellow center. As they mature, the yellow center expands and slowly turns to red and soon the white petals are gone. Here, I found a photo for you.

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Isn’t that gorgeous?

This is what growth looks like.

The more we expand and allow the full sweetness of what we have to offer this world come forth, the less we can recognize our past selves.

Sometimes, it hurts.

When your life expands, it can affect other people. Our lives aren’t limited to a single bush on a single field. Our lives affect other people, the places we go, how we spend our time, what we consume, and what we produce.

When we change, other people may be affected. It can manifest many ways:

• We may need to prune people or commitments to make space for growth
• Some relationships may transcend seasons, and some may not
• We may become the very thing we once judged

(Anything I’ve ever judged I have become, that’s a whole other post for another day. God has a great sense of humor in how I’ve had to learn the art of walking in non-judgement)

• Passions and hobbies may need to be released to make room for new ones

The list could keep going. The reality is, we have all walked in this pain.

It’s the same pain as when we feel sore the day after an intense workout. Muscle growth hurts.

Today, my encouragement for you is that if you feel something shifting, honor it. Allow the growth. Allow the expansion.If it hurts, just know it is highly likely a sign that you’re doing something right.

Much of my job is holding space for people’s growth and expansion.

I will always celebrate your transformation. I have no expectations to “should” on you. I have no attachment to your goals or desires. If you would like to transition from that gorgeous white flower into a ripe version of yourself, that’s what I do.

Ya know, until today, I never really realized that my role in life is much like a farmer. I till the soil, provide the fertilizer, make sure there’s enough water and sun, but I cannot do the work for you. I will hold the space for you to come to safe ground.. Then, when you have reached your potential, I will celebrate you and show you off to the world.

My hope for each and every one of you is that you are able to grow into your favorite self and allow the parts that need to die along the way to be released.

Because we are always growing AND dying at the same time.

Much love to you all,

Sophia Hyde

P.S. If you know that something about your life cannot stay the same, schedule a call. If there is an area that needs help, but you’re feeling stuck, reach out to me.

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I see you, the real you.

When I look at you, I see your greatness. I see your potential. You are already worthy and have value in my eyes without needing to justify anything to me.

If you need someone to believe in you, I do.

If you feel like there is all this potential sitting underneath the surface that’s screaming to come out, I see it.

If you know that something about the life you are living today is not the life you are meant to be living and you crave more, I know that pain.

You don’t need to explain yourself to me. I don’t care about the mistakes you have made. I don’t care about your flaws or your weaknesses.

Here is what I do know, with certainty: you are human and that is enough. Simply by being born, you entered this planet with both superpowers and vices. You are a combination of your good and your bad. I don’t expect you to be perfect.

When I look at you, I choose to see and speak to the gifts you have to offer this world. I choose to speak to the strengths and pull them out of you so you can see how strong you are.

To my clients, I am so proud of you for investing in yourself.

I see you learning to set boundaries and hold them. Watching you value yourself and your time more and expecting other people to adjust to the newfound respect you have for yourself is beautiful.

I see you creating a new normal for your routine, one where you prioritize the time to plan or rest instead of always feeling like you need to produce for others.

I see you training your mind to think differently. I know how hard it is to separate from believing all the thoughts that cross your mind to recognizing you are not the thoughts, you are the being observing the thoughts and have the option to let them go or rewrite them.

I see you moving from shaming your body to loving it. I see you taking pride and joy in the skin you are in and asking her how she needs to be loved today. I see you prioritizing movement and rest.

You are already enough. I will not judge you or criticize you because I recognize we are hard enough on ourselves as it is. I will always be a non-judgmental safe space for you to process what’s happening in your mind and in your heart.

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And slowly, but surely, things will begin to shift.

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You will begin to see yourself for your potential and not your current reality.

You will begin to give yourself grace and patience instead of criticism.

You will begin to look at yourself as someone who is not only meant for greatness, but creating it and admiring the fruit of your labor.

You will see your strengths, talents and gifts and lean into them with intensity. You will surround yourself with people whose strengths are your weaknesses so you have an incredible team to support and compliment you.

It is my joy to help you release your favorite self. It is an honor. It is a privilege. Thank you for trusting me to help you through this process.

P.S. If you aren’t enrolled in the course but want someone to hold this space for you so that you can also take that lampshade off and shine brightly, let’s chat.

You do not need to figure out life on your own. Do you know any athlete, even playing at the professional level, who attempts playing their sport without a coach? The best athletes have a team of coaches. The top performing CEO’s all have a coach. This is why life coaches are so helpful. If you want to make the most out of your one wild and precious life, consider adding a coach to your bench. I have an entire toolbox filled with resources to help you fill the gap between where you are to where you want to be.

Schedule a call if you want to discuss your particular situation with someone. There is no cost to start the conversation.

The same topic has come up on three of my coaching calls recently. It’s something I know I have personally struggled with so much in my life as well. 

My clients have shared with me the fallout they fear will follow them making a change. They know what change they want to make. They know the right next step. And yet, they freeze. Why?

Because they know that once they take the next step, it will create some situation where they will end up in conversations explaining to others why they did what they did. 

Here is my response each time:

Why do you owe them an explanation?

What if you just make the change you know you want to make, and you don’t need to justify or explain it to anyone? 

Each time I asked this question, there was silence and a pause on the other side. 

I know the feeling. I’ve done it. Sooooooo many times. I feel this need to justify myself, explain my decisions, tell them all the thoughts that I am thinking. Give all the details as to why I did what I did. 

Sometimes, with the right people, it makes for beautiful conversation. 

Most of the time, it’s utterly exhausting. I quickly find myself in a defensive posture. By over explaining, I just create more confusion and uncertainty. 

The conversations I’m referring to have involved the decision to end a relationship, the decision to make a business change, the decision to leave work on time, and the decision to stay home instead of going where others are going. 

Each time, in the conversations, the fear all centered around “but what will I say? How will I explain it? I don’t think it will make sense to them.” 

What if the answer is that you don’t. 

Regarding the relationship ending, she was able to discover that the only person she owed an explanation to was the other person in the relationship. When everyone else wanted to know the details, and why, and felt entitled to more information, she chose to not answer. We came up with a simple, one-liner response that painted them both in a good light, and she decided to set her boundary there. That was her line in the sand. After her simple line, there was nothing else to say.

The dialogue was very similar in all the other conversations. We clarified who actually deserved to know more details because it was the appropriate thing to do, and who was just being nosey or would create a stressful situation if the can was opened. 

As I write this post today, I cannot help but laugh. I have been the QUEEN of TMI. I have spent a lifetime over-explaining myself. It’s probably the people pleaser in many of us that wants to explain all the details and thoughts so they understand why we did what we did and are less likely to judge us, right? Because at the end of the day, the fear of rejection or not being liked motivates many of us. 

We don’t need to live this way.

We have the option to live with bold confidence. We can own our decisions because we know precisely why we made them and completely release how others respond. 

I would be lying if I said I have this figured out or have mastered it, but personally, I’m working on becoming hyper aware when I feel tempted to explain when unnecessary. When I find myself wanting to elaborate, I am trying to pause and ask “do I owe them an explanation?” 

Most often, the answer is no. 

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Sophia Hyde is a certified life coach.

If there is something about your life that you know needs to change, working with a coach may be a great next step for you.

The first step is a one hour Zoom call where she will listen to your situation, go through an assessment with you, and share those results. Then, together you will determine if coaching can benefit you.

To explore if Sophia is the right coach for you, just set up a time to chat.

If any part of the holiday season is beginning to overwhelm you, I want to offer you a word of encouragement.

You don’t have to do it all.

Just in case you need me to say it again with other words, it’s okay to let go of some things. In fact, it’s probably healthy.

Maybe you need to let go of some events on the calendar.

Maybe you need to let go of some expectations you have.

Maybe you need to let go of comparing yourself to what other families are doing.

Right now on my Instastories I am posting our family’s daily advent calendar. It’s an adorable kindness calendar I got from Mail Your Mark. You are welcome to join us and do 24 kind acts…but you know what else? You’re welcome to say that one more thing on your plate is exactly what will push you over the edge and you cannot join us. Both are fine.

While I may have agreed to this 24 day challenge, I have also accepted that our Christmas pajamas are going to clash because the kids disagreed with my choices, and I’m letting that one go. I’ve also accepted that because we are going out of town for Christmas during a year they are getting physically large items…the whole Santa thing is going to be whacky and may not go over well on Christmas Day. Oh well.

Ya know how I am managing all these small details?

I have released all the expectations that anything will go well.

I am committed to picking my priorities, doing the best I can and being unattached to how others respond.

Yesterday we took our kids to an evening Christmas event that went past bedtime. It was adorable and fun, until it ended up in meltdowns and us physically carrying our children to the cars for two blocks.

I didn’t even stress. Wanna know why? I never told myself it was going to go well. I just said it mattered to me to go.

So here is your reminder, in case you need it this holiday season…..you can lower your expectations.

Do you have family members that don’t get along and are all going to be together at Christmas? Maybe just don’t expect them to get along.

Do your kids go crazy after sugar…maybe don’t expect them to go to bed on time.

Last year we tried to introduce Home Alone to our daughter and she said it was too scary and we had to turn it off. Although it was a bit disappointing I must say, it was also whatever.

This is supposed to be the happiest time of year, but we often allow it to be the most frustrating time of year by stretching ourselves too thin, setting expectations too high and comparing ourselves to other families.

Today, the message on my heart was to remind you of this message….let it go. Whatever your “it” is. You don’t have to be or do it all.

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With gratitude,

Sophia Hyde

Who exactly hires a life coach?

Most people do not understand what a life coach does.

The majority of people have never worked with one. And if they have, each individual is as diverse an experience as one restaurant is to another.

So for this week’s blog post, I thought it would be fun to highlight some stories of the type of people I have worked with, and the types of problems I have helped them solve, so you can get an idea.

What I do:

I help people release their favorite version of themselves. Oftentimes, there is a gap between the life we are living today and a version of life we are craving to live. I help people fill the gap using a proven system. Meet some of my clients:

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​Client A: A homeschooling mom who felt regularly stressed and wanted to create better balance in her life.

Client B: A business owner who was burning the candle at both ends. Despite loving her business deeply, something had to change. Her family was getting resentful toward her because it was taking up all of her time.

Client C: After trying dozens of different weight loss plans throughout her lifetime, she wants to find health and love her body using methods she can commit to for the rest of her life. (I’ll give you guys a secret…this has little to do with food and exercise and everything to do with our thoughts.)

Client D: A business owner who wants to thrive more in every area of her life. She wants to expand her net worth to a million dollars while alleviating several stress factors that are inhibiting her ability to create growth.

Client E: A working mom who was miserable. Her marriage, her job and her self-image were all suffering. At the beginning of our relationship she was contemplating if a divorce was the best solution to bringing joy back into her life.

[Side note: I will never advise someone to leave a marriage or stay in a marriage. Not my job. But I will help them find their joy regardless of their partner’s actions and let them discover for themselves what is right for them (obvious exceptions being if I learn of abuse or other circumstances that require a different approach, likely referring them to a different form of support than the work I do).]

Client F: She has a desire to run for political office in ten years, but knows that without some other changes in her life, she will not be ready for such a tremendous investment of time, money and resources. She desires to grow herself, her margin in her life, and hit some key milestones to prepare her for her long term goals.

Client G: As a realtor with two small children, limited childcare assistance, and the main breadwinner for her family, this mom needed some tools to create some peace in her life.

Client H: Single and in her sixties, this business owner is ready to put together a plan for life after the daily grind. With no partner, children or grandchildren, how will she use her precious years to create contribution and have fun?

And this is just a sampling. Do you guys see the variety in each situation? Each life and set of circumstances is so completely different. And yet….did you hear the common thread? They each feel a calling toward creating change in their lives. Positive change. Welcomed change. Freedom to be who deep down they know they really are, but for whatever reason, don’t feel they can truly express right now.

This is the work I do. Every relationship is unique, but the same principles guide the path. I offer a map. You pick the destination and how you want to get there. Then you hop in the car and start driving. I will meet you at the rest areas, gas stations and repair shops along the way.

If you want to hop on a call to do a free strategy session, click here to book a slot. On this call I will walk you through two exercises that will provide you immediate feedback you can use to determine your best next steps. If you decide coaching is the right fit for you, we will easily enroll you and book a second call. If not, consider it my gift to you 🙂

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With gratitude,

Sophia Hyde

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