Category: Body

Earlier this year, I threw my scale away. If you are someone who struggles with your weight, I cannot recommend this decision highly enough. Here’s my story about why.

As I was writing down my goals for this year, once again, at the top of the list was to weigh 150 pounds. This was the same number I had associated with a “healthy Sophia” since high school, and yet, I only hit the number three times, at 17, 22 and 26, each time using very unsustainable trendy diet plans and therefore not maintaining it for more than a month. 

For almost 20 years, each time I stepped on a scale and discovered I was trending away, not toward, that number, feelings of disappointment and shame came over me.

I realized that my mood, my self-confidence, and how I moved about in the world were directly attached to a number on a scale. 

Last year, something in my heart broke when I wrote my annual goals down, and at the top of the list was that 150 number…again. I asked myself, “really, your #1 goal in life is connected to a number on a scale?” Something felt unsettling. 

I decided to delete the goal and begin a journey of looking for a new way to define whether I was moving closer to health, or away from it. 

I decided to double down on learning to love myself. I knew that pursuing health needed to come from a place of love, not shame or guilt. I started following and learning from registered dietitians, and took a course from an amazing life coach that specializes specifically in weight loss (good coaches have a coach themselves 😉 

Before I committed to any plan or habit changes, I first committed to loving myself exactly as I was. I needed to first know that I was already worthy and already enough, even if I stayed exactly the same. That step alone took a few months, but it was the most important. 

Then, I committed to these habits:

1. Drink enough water each day (My goal is 100oz per day)
2. Get a full night’s rest every night 
3. Stop eating as soon as you sense you’re full (Learning how to listen to my stomach, not my brain)
4. When you feel the desire to emotionally eat, journal about it instead (I designed this sheet, which you can download here)
5. Eat the foods that make you feel good (This applies to joy, energy, brain fog, food sensitivities, etc.) 
6. Get my heart rate up for 20 minutes a day

I also made a personal commitment that I would meet with my doctor, get labs done, and then work with her to improve whatever my numbers said. 

Because I am very goal-oriented, I needed something to pursue and refused to define whether I was succeeding or failing in my health journey based on a number on the scale. After about 4 months of focusing on care and love for my body, I decided these would be my two goal metrics:

1. Improving my blood work
2. Creating sustainable daily habits that will support me being a yoga teacher in my 80’s 

So, how did my health goals go this year? Absolutely wonderful. 

First, I learned so much about my body by working with my doctor. My blood work showed a few things were off, and by taking her recommended steps to get them all back to the green, I felt immediate improvements.

Second, I double-downed on learning about my mental health. The more we understand ourselves, our needs, our motivations, our triggers and so many other facets about what’s happening in our brains, the better we can meet our own needs. Also, we become better about communicating our needs and improving how we interact with our friends and loved ones as well. 

So, all that to say, why did I throw away the scale? Well, even months into this journey and the decision to not allow it to define me, I found myself continuing to “check in.” And when I did, I would feel emotions based on that number. If it had fallen, I was motivated to keep going, but also felt like I earned “a treat.” And second, if it went up, I felt discouraged and would trigger my emotional eating, but I would eat the food in shame. Therefore, I realized the entire process was stupid and pointless. A number doesn’t define me. It doesn’t define my health. It doesn’t define my worth. 

Am I saying everyone should throw theirs away? No. I make an intentional effort to not should on people. If you do not have baggage around your weight and whatever number the scale shows then good for you. But for me, and many others, it’s not serving us. 

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Sophia Hyde is a certified life coach. Don’t forget to register for the first live event for 2022, the Drive Workshop. It will be a three hour workshop dedicated to starting 2022 off on the right foot. Click here for what to expect and all the details.

All these years later, the most common sense thing we have all heard still manages to blow my mind. 

Last night I fell asleep putting the kids down and my body woke up 9.5 hours later. 

I had a whole list of things to do last night. I woke up with none of them done. The dishwasher was left wide open. The counters were cluttered. The clothes weren’t ironed.

 However, it amazed me how much energy I had this morning.

Most mornings it’s a battle and chore to get everyone out on time. Today, we left 10 minutes ahead of schedule, and I had accomplished a half hour worth of tasks that I normally do after they are gone. 

The science is there. Even common sense is there. We KNOW without a doubt that our brains work better when we have more sleep. 

We KNOW that more sleep means better efficiency.

And yet…

We sabotage our sleep all the time. Just a couple days ago I stayed up past my bedtime so I could fold six batches of laundry and make sure my kitchen was spotless. But guess what? The next day I was dragging and accomplished less than I usually do in my workday. 

If you are struggling with getting a full night’s rest, I compiled a list of things to help increase your chances:

• Actually calendar your sleep. Block the time and respect the boundaries

• Communicate with your family the time frame you need to sleep and ask them to help keep you accountable to keeping your word. 

• Cut out caffeine. Both my husband and I have had to completely remove it from our diet to get better rest at night (I have found if I squeeze in one serving before 11am, I am still okay) 

• Try different supplements. There are things like melatonin and magnesium that regularly make a world of difference for many people. However, sometimes other things are off in your body and getting the right balance can change everything. Talk to your doctor about running some labs to see where you may have deficiencies. You can also have your hormones checked because your hormones being out of balance can greatly affect your ability to get a good night’s rest

• Exercise. Getting proper exercise during the day has been proven over and over again to improve sleep in many people. However, exercising too close to bedtime can negatively affect sleep, so be sure your body has ample time to calm back down for rest

• Screentime. Cut out screen time before bed. I’ve heard many different timeframes recommended, so see what works best for you. Some people recommend 30 minutes, one hour and two hours of no screen time before bedtime to help best prepare your brain for rest

• Manage your food. Being overstuffed or eating foods that cause indigestion can also disturb your sleep 

• Alcohol consumption can also affect your quality of sleep

• Improve your sleeping conditions. Things like a darkroom, cooler temperatures, earplugs, fans, or anything else that may improve your environment

• Calm down rituals. There are things you can do to prepare your body before rest so you can fall asleep quicker and stay asleep longer. For many people hot baths, teas, or reading (but not on a screen) are helpful.

• Guided meditations can be powerfully helpful, especially if your thoughts often keep you awake. Apps like Headspace and Calm offer meditations you can listen to before bed to help release any stresses, worries, or tasks before you fall asleep.

• Journaling. If you find that bedtime is when your brain starts buzzing with tasks and ideas, keep a journal next to your bed to write down the thoughts as they pop in. 

Guys…seriously…this is how much I love you and want to make my message GLARINGLY obvious. 

Today I made an Instagram reel, in a bikini, of me dancing. The text said, 

“My 3 step process to get your body bikini ready this summer: 

1. Buy a bikini
2. Put it on your body 
3. Have fun” 

Last summer I wrote this blog post about how to manage the weight loss struggles that so many women face. The first step truly is a positive body image. 

We cannot hate our bodies into health. 

If the core motivation for making “healthier choices” is shame for how you feel about your body, then there is a very small chance you will sustain the weight loss. Eventually, a binge is likely on it’s way. The emotions of guilt and shame have a sneaky way of snowballing on top of each other like an avalanche until it all comes crashing down. 

However, we can LOVE our way into healthy choices. 

I do not preach or teach giving up alcohol as a lifestyle choice. It’s completely up to you. Personally, about a year ago, I gave up wine permanently. It wasn’t about the sugar intake. It wasn’t about the calories. It wasn’t about a special program I was following. It was simply because over and over again I was waking up the next day with a fog and a slow start. Keeping up with two small kids at 6am is tiring enough. Wine was making it harder. 

I simply decided one day “I don’t enjoy this. The taste of wine does not outweigh the struggle the next day.” I made the choice out of love for myself. 

I CHOOSE to eat vegetables and less processed foods because I enjoy the feeling of more energy. I choose carefully when to take in lots of carbs because I weigh the love of the food against the energy crash that comes. Sometimes it’s worth it. Sometimes it’s not. 

The love of my body is what motivates me to drink over 100oz of water a day and get a full night’s rest. The love of my children and wanting to be around when they are old is what motivates me to get my heart rate up each day. 

I danced on the internet today in a bikini on Instagram and TikTok because I desperately want to inspire you to love your body too. Exactly as she is right now. Because your love for her is what will motivate you to make sustainable, long lasting, good choices. 

Now, go buy that bikini and tell yourself how beautiful you look in it. 

Happy Summer,

Sophia 

P.S. My 10-week course “You Deserve to Thrive” is launching May 31. The cart will open on May 18 for registrations. If you want first dibs on a pre-registration discount then sign up here. As soon as I wrap up the details, you will get the first notification. 

P.P.S. If you do not already follow me on Instagram, my handle is @thesophiahyde. I have mapped out a plan for that account and will be moving most of my free content over there.

 

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In conversations with friends, I hear the push and pull of the pressure summer puts on our relationships with our bodies. It’s nearly impossible to avoid comparing our bodies to the bodies around us at the pool or beach. You may feel motivated to hit the gym and discover that six-pack underneath those layers.

And yet, vacation feels like the most appropriate time to stop watching what you eat and indulge. So which is it? Is summer when we should be crushing it and getting in shape or YOLOing it up?

What if I said it’s the totally wrong conversation to be having?

Loving and caring for our bodies doesn’t come and go with a season. The things that are best for our bodies are the best all twelve months of the year. Approaching our health with an on-off switch will not lead to maintainable results.

The best approach to any improvements you want to make in your physical health is to take it one habit at a time. That is always the most sustainable approach.

There are many great habits to consider; here are a few I recommend:

• Getting enough sleep. Try just focusing on your rest for a few weeks
• Are you drinking enough water each day? Try just monitoring your intake for a while.
• Are you a late night snacker? Maybe take the summer to commit to no foods after dinner and see where that new habit gets you.
• Daily exercise, even if it’s only 10 or 15 minutes, the consistency of the daily is more important
• Increasing raw vegetable intake
• Keeping your sugar to the recommended daily intake (36g for men, 25g for women)
• Limiting processed food, increasing whole foods

What if you take the next 4-6 we have left of summer and commit to replacing ONE bad habit with ONE good habit? If that good habit stuck with you permanently, what would the results look like three months, six months or a year from now?

Which habit is top on your list?

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Thanks for making it to the end of my blog post! Two options to keep going if you want more:

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Before I get too deep into the weeds, let’s see if we have anything in common in our weight struggles. I’ll share with you some of my unhealthy habits and then share with you what has worked for me in creating a healthy lifestyle. 

Have you ever:

• Gone to a public pool/beach and spent most of the experience comparing your body to the bodies all around you

• Struggled with your weight for more than 10 years (mine began in third grade. Yep. 9 years old)

• Done something extreme and unsustainable to lose lots of weight (Subsequently put it all back on)

• Used food to manage emotions like stress, sadness or procrastination

• Made many promises to yourself about the healthy habits you’re going to adopt, only to break them

• Looked in the mirror naked and had all negative thoughts about yourself

If you resonated with any of those points, then I hope my words today can bring you some encouragement.

First of all, you can see by the photos I post regularly that I’m not Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition material. If you were hoping for the secret to getting skinny, you came to the wrong blog.

But if you want to chat about having healthy blood work, high levels of energy, a positive self-image when you look in the mirror and patience with yourself, I might be able to help.

Ready for the secret…it’s an inside job. The outside of your body is reflecting what’s happening on the inside.

Most of us are fighting a battle with the stories in our minds. It’s not a secret that significantly upping your vegetable intake, lowering sugar and processed food intake, and increasing exercise will lead to results. Implementing that is a completely different story…but why?

Well, a myriad of reasons that are complicated and not fixed easily. Here are a few things that have worked well for me over the last few years:

1. Positive Self Image 

A few years ago I attended a workshop that used the Wheel of Life. My physical spoke was one of the lowest, and the coach helped me realize that a significant part of the reason why was because of how I perceived myself. She challenged me to write “I am beautiful” and tape it to my mirror where I would see it every time I saw my reflection. It was extremely uncomfortable to speak those words to myself for a long time. Eventually I said it enough times that I began to believe it. 

Is this going to make you lose weight? Well, not directly, but definitely indirectly. By believing you are beautiful, you will increase your self-worth. When you love your body you will have an increased desire to make healthy choices because you know you are worth it. 

2. Small daily habits 

Many programs I have followed, and even taught, require many changes all at once that are usually not sustainable for the long term. Most of us can use will power to push through something we don’t like for a short stint, but if deprived too long, we will overload on the pleasures we avoided.

For that reason, I have found that the most sustainable weight loss comes from focusing on one healthy habit at a time that I’m willing to make a lifestyle change and mastering that before overloading myself with others. A few daily habits that I have mastered one at a time have been:

• I drink 100oz of water a day
• I keep my sugar intake at or below the recommended 25g for women per day
• I eat high quantities of vegetables
• I create a 12-14 hour break in eating between dinner and breakfast
• I get 7-8 hours of sleep a night.

Notice that none of these habits are what I’m “not” doing. To be fully transparent, I have food allergies with corn, peanuts and soy so those create enough avoiding in my life. By focusing on small, sustainable habits, the weight I lose stays off because there isn’t a period where I go off the program and return to my normal ways. I just make changes that I am willing to make a lifestyle.

3. Counseling

Many of us are using food as a coping mechanism for emotional baggage we are carrying around. Over the years, I have poured massive amounts of time, energy and resources into my personal growth and development. I’m not talking about motivational ra-ra. I’m talking about digging deep into the why behind my behaviors and emotions. It’s very uncomfortable work, but absolutely worth it.

I did this work slowly over about an eight year period of time. I have multiple friends who expedited their success by hiring therapists or counselors who specialize in this work. Yes, there are weight loss coaches who are actually counselors. Behind many people’s layers of weight gain is childhood trauma, lack of self-confidence or self-worth, abusive language planted by someone else or many other issues. There is no quantity of vegetables or sugar that will help you heal those wounds.

I highly recommend investing in counseling or therapy as part of your overall health and wellness plan.

4. New Coping Mechanisms

In a similar light, many of us, myself included, turn to food when we are stressed, sad, bored or any other situation where we are avoiding our feelings. To be honest, this is one I am still working on. I am much, much more aware of when I am doing this than I use to be, but I have not mastered it yet. At least I have replaced my comfort indulging of ice cream with hummus and pretzels or frozen berries covered in almond butter.

For some reason, many of us don’t like to feel our feelings. When they start to come on, we look for a distraction rather than sitting in them. A major part of weight loss for me was to recognize when this was happening and to look for other coping mechanisms. Depending on the emotion, I have tried to create new habits to resort to when I feel it coming. Feeling stressed? I go take a bubble bath. Procrastinating? Pivot to other work, go on a walk, or drink water. Sad? Meditate on the root cause and let the tears flow.

5. People Pleasing

Man…if I had to pick one pet peeve that bothers me the most, this one would be HIGH on the list. So often when someone proclaims they are making healthy choices, the people around them will peer pressure them into falling off course. I hear it all the time. “Oh c’mon! It’s your birthday, you HAVE to have a piece of cake.” “It’s just one glass of wine, it’s not a big deal.” “You are seriously missing out, this is the best spinach dip I’ve ever had in my entire life,” etc. You get the point. Rather than supporting and encouraging the people around them with their goals, so many people would rather help them justify why they should break a promise they made themselves. It infuriates me.

The ability to say no to the peer pressure is a strong muscle that for us people pleasers, can be a tough one to overcome. I’ve learned to just avoid the conversation in general. If I tell people I’m being healthy, they may resort to the taunting. If I just say “no thanks” or “I’m not in the mood” or “Maybe later, but not now,” I don’t deal with any push back.  

Like many of you, this is an ongoing journey for me. The more time goes on, the more I am able to feel comfortable in my own skin, love my body, prioritize taking care of the one body I get, and increasing my self-care healthy habits.

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Thanks for making it to the end of my blog post! Two options to keep going if you want more:

Looking to create more peace in your life? Then I highly recommend downloading the free E-book from my site, Create Peace. Just drop your email below and it will be sent to you.

If you enjoy reading these posts, then drop your email into the box at the footer of the website and you will get an email from me each Wednesday with a new post.