Introducing Eve Rodsky’s FairPlay System
(If you’re not a mom, forward this to one)
Dear Moms,
I see all that you do. The mental and invisible load of what you carry. The endless to-do lists, decisions, and problem solving.
I know your mind never rests. Between taking care of yourself, the household needs, the child(ren), the meal planning, and career responsibilities, you are tapped out.
For years I have been helping women with mental load. Some of the tools that help are time and task management systems. Some of it involves mindset and beliefs (like whether you really HAVE to do that thing or do it in the complicated way you are asking of yourself).
Recently, I was introduced to the Fairplay system developed by Eve Rodsky, and I’m obsessed. If you haven’t heard of it, there is a book and card deck. The book is the starting point as it addresses how we ended up in a situation where women overwhelmingly carry the majority of the mental load and offers solutions and methods to even the playing field more. The card deck breaks down the roles and responsibilities of running a household into a game that couples can play to improve the shared responsibilities.
This week on the podcast I introduce the system and give you the CliffsNotes version. My favorite bullet points that she covers are:
- Eliminate tasks
- Release what isn’t in alignment for your family or season
- The invisible work
- Acknowledge how much labor goes unrecognized
- CPE (Conceptualize, Plan, Execute)
- In the Fairplay system, whomever is executing is also taking on the conceptualizing and planning. If you hold the card, you hold it from beginning to end. There is no sharing of cards. One person owns it wholly.
- All time is created equal
- No one person’s time is more valuable than another.
- Minimum Standard of Care
- This is HUGE when it comes to ending the bickering, nagging, and criticizing of how tasks are done. Part of the exercise is agreeing on a shared definition of what is reasonable to expect in the execution. Sometimes you need to up your game, and sometimes you need to lower the bar. But having a shared standard cuts out so many of the fights.
- Unicorn Space
- This may be my FAVORITE part of the book. Each person in the partnership needs a weekly window of time to pursue the thing that lights them up and can be shared with the world. Pursuing joy is just as important as keeping the household running.
If you are in a partnership and want to reduce your mental load, I highly recommend that you listen to this week’s episode.
And of course, if you want help decreasing the overwhelm in your life, my 1:1 coaching goes far beyond just looking at this one tool. Before committing to ongoing coaching, the first step is to schedule a Roadmap session.