I recently changed my belief system around clothes.
For all of my life, I believed that caring about clothes meant valuing material possessions.
However, the more I learn about everything it takes to release our favorite selves into the world, I realize that clothes do matter. A lot.
The reason they hold so much power is because they impact how we feel about ourselves. They impact how we look at ourselves in the mirror. They impact what message we are sending into the world.
I’m not here to tell everyone to head down to Nordstrom’s and get a new suit or the most on-trend outfit.
The power of our clothes is actually a reflection of the power of our feelings.
Our thoughts determine our feelings. Our feelings determine our behaviors. Our behaviors determine our results. Therefore, manage your thoughts and your results will follow.
Imagine the difference in how you feel when in:
A. Pajamas someone gave you at Christmas 7 years ago. They’re in a color you don’t like, faded, but oversized and so very comfortable. You put them on whenever you feel frumpy or lazy. It’s your message to yourself that today is a frumpy day.
B. You picked out the comfiest, softest pajamas ever in your favorite color from your favorite store. You feel so warm and cozy when you wear them.
In both scenarios, you are comfortable. But in one you feel frumpy about yourself, and in the other you feel cute. How you feel about yourself will go on to impact your mood that day and how you communicate with those around you. You’re sending different messages to yourself and therefore will show up differently to others.
This translates to every room we ever enter. If you feel confident in your clothes, you will speak with confidence. If you feel insecure in your clothes, you will be distracted by the thing that’s bothering you and be less present in the moment.
I’ve taken slack for my entire adulthood that I wear too much black. I have tried to compensate with colors and patterns. Every time I wear something that doesn’t feel authentic to me, I feel like I’m wearing someone else’s clothes from their closet. I’m not the most radiant version of myself because part of me feels out of place.
Several months ago, I purged my closet of all the patterns. It’s now entirely blacks, whites and solids. I purged every pair of workout pants that weren’t solid black. Now, every time I get dressed, I look in the mirror and think, “Ahhhh…..that’s me!”
I found that I needed a filter to sort my closet. My clothes all needed to make me feel:
Keep in mind, we each may have our own definitions of these words. I will still wear stilettos, just not the ones that squeeze my toes.
I have friends and clients that have used the same process, but picked different words for their filters. Some I’ve heard are:
Only you can determine your words for how you want to feel about yourself.
My challenge to you is to start noticing how you feel about yourself when you wear certain pieces. If they don’t bring out your favorite version of yourself, however you may define that, release them from your closet. Whether you donate them, sell them, give them to a friend or throw them away, I don’t care. Just get them out of your life if you don’t like how you feel about yourself when you wear them.
How YOU FEEL is the ONLY opinion that matters.
If you want to regularly walk through life feeling like your favorite self in every aspect, schedule a call with me.
I can teach you how to discover that strong, inner confidence and create a life you love.
Sophia Hyde is a certified life coach. Her coaching program Release Your Favorite Self combines a digital course with 20 minute private coaching calls to help people create the life changes they desire.